Five more questions

Orange had posted the answer to 5 questions that sergei had sent to her with further instructions to ask 5 other people 5 questions. So I volunteered because I figured what the hell....

and now they are answered:

1. What aspect of parenting was the most unpleasant surprise to you?

Hmm, probably that I was supposed to be tied to this little person for the rest of my life, though I have found that it gets easier as he gets older. I had a hard time adjusting to this particular change and sometimes I do wish I could just “do my thing” and not have the great amount of responsibility that I do have (an example would be sitting on the beach without having to worry about him jumping into the water without me).

2. What is your most irrational fear?

Fears can be irrational? : ) But seriously, I’d have to say bridges and tornadoes. I’m not visibly afraid of many things, but I worry about crossing bridges while Peanut is in the car with me as I know he can’t survive without me and there is no way I’d let him die. With this came the realization that it’s either both of us live or both of us die; it’s a huge responsibility when you think about it. There are times when this kind of anxiety keeps me awake at night and that, I believe, is when it crosses over into the realm of irrationality because the chances of it ever happening are slim and none. I dream about tornadoes endlessly and last summer, Mother Nature decided that we needed a few reminders about who is boss, therefore sending us 3 of ‘em in as many weeks. Thank goddess I was here in Richmond and not at home!

3. Are you turning into your mother? And would that be a good or bad thing?

Agh, I have to answer yes to this because I am a lot like my mother and I’ve caught myself doing things that I swore, pre-Peanut, that I would never do to my own kids. My mother had/has an explosive temper and during my adolescent years, used my head as a battering ram for whatever I happened to be leaning on when she became angry. She would take my head and slam it backwards and its hit doorframes, dresser knobs, etc. Peanut is 5 years old now but for a while I found myself reacting to his tantrums the same way my mom would react to mine. I have since learned how to relax myself or walk away but it’s been a long time coming as I had to gain the knowledge of introspection first and realize I had some responsibility in the way Peanut was acting.

But turning into my mom is also a good thing, too, because I used to think my mom was the bomb (not a totally fair statement because I still do). My dad was out to sea a lot and she was a single mom for the most part. With their lack of funds, she still made sure we (my sister and I) had what we needed and supported us in almost everything we did by coming to all our open houses and so forth. She was very much involved in our lives yet still allowed us our independence in order to find our own way in the world. She let us express ourselves but with regulations (picture those commercials for a drug free America here). It seems that as soon as I begin to think that my mom will never understand me, she surprises me with some magical statement and then I’m all awash with love and affection for her again. My mom has always been that caring lady who was ready with hugs and kisses whenever anything went wrong. When we got old enough to go out with friends without her, we’d come home at 11pm and jump up on my parents’ bed (on my mom’s side) to talk about what we did that night, who went with us, etc. My dad would deal with it for a while then start complaining that he was trying to sleep. This is something I hope Peanut and I can continue when he’s older.

4. What’s your favorite book that you read before the age of 20?

Geesh…that’s really making me think. I remember reading Where the Red Fern Grows in 7th grade and loving it. Then there are Judy Blume and Beverly Cleary books. Lord of the Flies was also excellent and in the 10th grade, I read a book about a German soldier who was hiding out in a house and he wasn’t supposed to be and the young girl who lived there fantasized about what he was like…the title had German soldier in it I think. I don’t have any one favorite as I tend to like just about everything I read and champion them all. Between the ages of 16 and 18 is when I discovered Stephen King and Dean Koontz as well.

5. What do you expect to be doing 15 years from now, when your son is grown?

Hopefully making public policy in either DC or back here in VA. I know that I will not be content sitting on my ass (at least I hope I won’t be anyway) so I plan on being in the public/political sphere somewhere somehow. I’m also hoping this will set a wonderfully high standard for Peanut and he’ll be a better man than his father ever has been.
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Rebecca Walker

She is the daughter of the esteemed Alice Walker (if you don't know her, shame on you) and we are trying to get both of them booked for a Women's Speaker series next spring here at VCU. We are completely excited that the Events Committee finally realized women of all varieties are important for Women's History Month. I am so excited that here is Rebecca Walker's blog for all to see.

They are both lovely women and if you haven't read anything either have written, then get thee to a bookstore near you (or Flea can help you, too, as I found out just a few days ago) post haste!
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Because the abortion debate never ends

Charlie at Shades of Grey has an intelligent post spawned from what I wrote yesterday. In that post, he makes the assertion that Florida is the first state to try and restrict Roe vs. Wade which moves towards the greater goal of overturning it altogether.

Nope, that award goes to Mississippi. They have passed 14 anti-choice laws since 1980 with 6 of them being passed just last year. They have only 1 clinic left that is supposed to serve the entire state but in truth only women from Jackson and Delta make the trek, the rest take their needs out of state.

In the article it gives a few statistics about the decline of abortions in the state of MS. Interesting given that the stats also dropped as the clinics closed. Both sides, as reported in the link, admit that these numbers could be attributed to women going out of state to have their abortions. But it's the anti-choice zealots who go further: they are loud and very much in the face of women who try to go in the lone clinic. According to Pat Cartrette, "[her] and other abortion opponents say their vocal and visual presence has persuaded hundreds of women considering abortion to change their minds." If you don't believe me, read the article.

MISSISSIPPI ABORTION LAWS - Mississippi has passed 14 abortion laws since the mid-1980s. The main ones:

Parental consent: Both parents must agree to a minor seeking abortion, though judges can make exceptions. Passed in 1986, not in effect because of court challenges until 1993.

Informed consent: 24-hour waiting period and mandatory counseling that includes mentioning that abortion is linked to breast cancer, a claim denied by the federal government. 1991.

School nurses: They can't refer students for abortion counseling or to clinics. 2001.

Public funding: Facilities receiving public money can't perform abortions. 2002.

License plates: "Choose Life" tags, which have raised nearly $500,000. 2002.

Abortion complications: Doctors must report them to the state. 2004.

Fetal "homicide:" Classifies the termination of a fetus at all stages as murder, except as allowed under Roe v. Wade. 2004.

First trimester: Limits clinics to performing abortions through the first trimester, or 13 weeks. 2004, but is in court.

Let's not stop there you say? Then how about Colorado's Focus on the Family obtaining very expensive ultra-sound equipment in order to better persuade women to say 'no' to abortion. I can't help but thinking of ways this money could have been better spent on providing health care services for women and/or free birth control so that abortions wouldn't be needed at all. There is a pretty good quote from that article, though:

"Women are intelligent," Saporta said. "They know they're pregnant, and the image they see - especially that early in the pregnancy - doesn't look like that ultrasound image you're seeing on the cover of Time magazine." She was referring to the issue with a grainy black and white image of a fetus deep into the pregnancy.

I love anyone that tells me I'm intelligent enough to decide for myself what my eyes do and do not see or what my body does and does not feel. It's that whole bodily autonomy thing that women are constantly fighting for.

But then there is the new Family Restriction Act that was passed by the Federal House of Representatives which prohibits non-parental figures from taking a minor across state lines to have an abortion. I guess those women in MS are shit out of luck eh? I think parental notification laws are a bad idea and there are plenty of court documented cases to prove why, so obviously this isn't the next logical step either.

Dr.B. mentioned Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale in her post on the 13-year old girl in Florida yesterday and yep, I've been thinking of it for a while now. It's way too scary when you wake up one day and realize that your federal government (I know, state can be counted as being way ahead of the federal game) wants you to becomes a baby-making machine only.

Or a punching bag/moving target as the legislators in South Carolina deem to be an appropriate title for us as well.

(Now if only I could put this much time and effort into the 3 remaining papers I must write I'd have them all done already!)
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Got comments and trackback

"Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog."

So I'm thinking that I should have done this at the beginning of this blog creating business, but didn't know about it anyway so oh well. Now the few comments I did have are gone and I don't know how to get them back. But you can ping me now!!
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On to more serious matters

I yacked about my backyard wildlife and now it's time to get on with life already.

Upon searching through various emails and websites this morning, I saw a myriad of issues that were both interesting and disturbing simultaneoulsy.

The first is a bit of commentary published in the L.A. Times by Barbara Ehrenreich. She comments on the outsourcing and rising costs of health care in the U.S., the place that's supposed to be the best in the world to live yet we can't insure many of our own children and citizens. It makes me want to move to Canada more and more, seriously, despite the fact that it snows a lot and is much colder than Virgiginia, even in the summer. Hell, we have states that would rather see cockfighting become a felony offense whereas domestic violence still remains a misdemeanor despite legislation being introduced for the last 2 years that could change it.

George Mason University in northern Virginia (NoVA) is holding a safe-sex fair on Monday, calling it a Sextravaganza. This isn't a problem for me since I'm all about students on college campuses knowing how to put on a condom, about the many different contraceptive devices out there, that EC exists and they are allowed to use it and so forth. Not State Senator Ken Cuccinelli, who, upon learning that organizations providing information about sexual orientation will be there (and this is my favorite part I swear), states that there is no safe-sex in homosexuality. Yep, he says this:

"You can't have safe homosexual sex. There is no such thing and yet one of the sponsoring groups is the homosexual group on campus," he said.

Yes, he embarrases himself a lot with those sorts of comments, but apparently someone believes him because he has been getting elected. Cuccinelli is also the State Senator who introduced SB 839, or TRAP, which would have demanded abortion clinics to operate as out-patient clinics, enforcing a rigorous health code that is not being forced upon other health service offices such as oral surgeons. He also didn't know what the hell he was talking about because he only had proof of one instant where an ambulance was needed and constantly referred to the clinic in his region only. Duh, can we say research it! His buddy, Delegate Bob Marshall and Dick Black are also the infamous anti-choice men who constantly introduce stupid laws into the General Assembly every year. And yet somehow, they all keep getting elected!

On to the next insightful piece of U.S. bigotry then! Jeb Bush in Florida is ready and willing to sign a new gun bill into law. The site here claims it to be spun out of control but there are some heavy dissenters who state otherwise. According to the actual language of the bill, though, I'm more inclined to believe in the "shoot first, ask later" name it's been given. I have a hard time understanding how less gun laws/restrictions equal less crime/violence.

Also in Florida, the state DCF agency has blocked an abortion for a 13-year old girl, claiming that she is not old enough nor mature enough to make her own decisions. W.T.F.!? That I'm reading about it from an Arizona newspaper is telling eh? The Palm Beach Post reports that she has been living in a state home for abused and neglected teens and that the judge did order an immediate injunction pending a psychological evaluation. Need I say it again? W.T.F.!? So they go lax on their gun control so that citizens could "meet force with force", but they don't think a 13-year old girl should have an abortion because she isn't old enough nor mature enough to make the decision on her own?

I agree with the ACLU on this one (as is usually the case): forcing this young woman to carry a baby, that she has already declared not to want, to full term is unconstitutional and cruel. This brings me back to Dr.B's post, Do we trust women? (Upon going over there to find this in order to link it, I saw she has this up on her blog, too, so go read it when you're all done here if you haven't been there first!)

Will the hypocrisy never end?

My note: of course not because we're a Do as I say, Not as I do society.
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Guess what I saw?!

I live outside of suburbia where I still get to see real wild life. So, I've been paying closer attention to it since Peanut was 4 so I could point stuff out, show him how important Nature is, etc. I've been having tons of fun discovering things in our own backyard.

Saturday I swear we saw this bird at our newly purchased bird feeder, but according to enature, it's not possible. It tells me that we were supposed to have seen the Eastern Bluebird instead.

Just a little bit ago, I was standing outside monitoring the 2 dogs that were most likely to wander away when I looked up and saw one of these flying around (or so I think; I saw only its belly). I'm excited because my dad has okayed the purchase and use of bat houses!

Early this year and sometimes in my house over the winter, I've seen the Convergent Lady Beetles, sometimes getting assaulted when I stepped outside. I remember the summer of Lady Beetle mating season in Virginia Beach (at the beachfront) and walking through a wall of Lady Beetles and coming out with several in my hair, shirt, etc.

Last spring, we would walk outside in the morning to find our cars and house invaded by Northern Walking Sticks. These look creepy to me because they look so much like real sticks I think.

Also, we got to see what enature calls the California Mantis on our rose bush eating a grasshopper head. Talk about very cool!

And, on humid nights, we are surrounded with Pinewood Tree Frogs who suction cup themselves to our windows and doors (the glass ones). It provides for precise examination because we get to see their underbellies, even the suction cups on their toes!

Every spring, around March when we start having really warm days, these toads start showing up everywhere. Last summer, we had large holes all over our yard where they had dug themselves out from their winter hibernation spots. The thing is, holes like that disgust me and I can't even begin to tell you why. I remember seeing this water toad (yes, I understand that they all are to some extent, but this one literally lived in the water) on Discovery Channel. The female would lay her eggs on the back of the male, who would then develop this mucus like material that surrounded each egg, creating individual sacs. When the toadlets were ready to come out, they broke free of this sac and swam out, creating lots of little holes on the male frogs back. Very disgusting yet I couldn't stop watching it anyway.

I also just realized that we have skinks in our yard, not just lizards. We do have lizards but I can't seem to find what it is, so here's a picture. What is so interesting, is that she looks like the Texas Spiny Lizard in my opinion.
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the Sunday word

It's been a while since I've done it and this one was found today in my in-box:

rara avis \RAIR-uh-AY-vis\, noun; plural rara avises \RAIR-uh-AY-vuh-suhz\ or rarae aves \RAIR-ee-AY-veez\:

A rare or unique person or thing.

Nice way to say it huh?
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Another Peanut conversation

Most Saturday and Sunday mornings, Peanut gets up without much noise (we are both pretty heavy sleepers) and goes downstairs to see if my mom or dad is awake. This morning they were not so he waited patiently in the kitchen until someone did. I came downstairs after awhile (and my dad calling up to me that his teeball game was in 1 hour) and laid in my mom/dad's bed with him. My mom was ticling and wrestling with him, then jokingly laid her head down on his legs.

Peanut: Uh, Nana, do you notice that you are on my grine bone where I hurt myself?
Me and Nana: laughing hysterically
Me again: Silly, it's a muscle and its your groin.

Ahhhh, kids say the darndest things.

Later in the afternoon, I was making lots of little cupcakes so they could frozen for snacks (the ones pre-packaged cost $3.50 for 4 packages of 5). Peanut came in from outside because it was raining and I told him that as soon as the last batch was done, we were going to Target for a mattress cover. No problem he says then asks if he can go barefoot. I tell him that the store won't let him in if he doesn't at least wear flip-flops so off he goes in search of a pair.

Then, standing at the back door, I tell him that we're not going to Target for a toy for him. At first he got whiny, but calmed pretty fast when I told him that a waterproof mattress pad was going to be expensive and I didn't have enough money to get him a toy, too. So then he disappears again and comes back with his spider man toy.

Peanut: Mom, I'm bringing my spider man toy so that way you won't have to worry about me.
Me: Um, sure. (chuckling to myself)

So we get to Target. He had fallen asleep in the car and he wakes up just as we pull into the parking lot. Of course the first thing he tells me is how he doesn't like to walk. Like Dr.B. said, the kid is spoiled and still likes to be toted everywhere. He's weighed a steady 40 lbs for about a year now so it's no big deal as long as I carry him on the front with both arms.

Anyway, we get in, get the cart, wander around 'til I find the matress pads, locate the waterproof one and notice that it's considerbly cheaper than I had thought it would be. Announcing this to Peanut, he immediately chimes in, "Yay, this means we can get a toy for me now!" Chuckling, I said we'll see. It's our usual thing: if he can sit in the cart, behave and not ask me 100 times about getting a toy and going to the toy section, I'll buy him a $5 something. I have known for a while that I need to stop doing this but it's become a habit and he's so damned good in the stores when it's just me and him that I have a hard time saying no.

We pay for our stuff after wandering around and finding a teeball starter kit and a bucket of 12 teeball's (the sticker on the front claims them to be the *real thing*) and head out to our car. Seeing Borders to my left, I asked Peanut if he wanted to go to the bookstore. He immediately says yes, but quickly asks if he can bring his new army guys. *sigh* We ended up getting in the car and just driving home because I told him that the point of a bookstore was to look at the books, not play with his new army guys.

And then we arrived home. Nothing blog worthy happened here except I scratched one of my downstairs cat's ears for her and she started drooling.
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where is everyone?

I know there are lots of you who read this blog. Not necessarily on a daily basis, but I know you've been here.

So how's about tellin' a sista you were visiting eh? Leave me a message and it doesn't have to be all insightful...just enough to say hey. I just like to know who's checking me out is all.

Update: from last Wednesday to today, Wednesday, I had 114 page views and 81 visits so I know people are reading this blog (which is a great thing of course!). I also know that my 1-3 visits a day do not equal 114 page views in just one week. So pretend this is an answering machine and just say hello once in a while to let me know who you are. Thanks!
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interesting

I saw a bunch of people outside of the General Assembly building in February I think it was, holding up signs that said "Free Rusty" on them. Some had the picture of a guy in his Naval sailor suit, complete with hat.

Then we turned the corner and there are a few people waving www.freerusty.com signs. So today I finally remember to check it out. It's pretty interesting so you should check it out, too.

It appears that Rusty was in jail, though I know not what for. There are a lot of links for helping out men in jail (which I wholely ignore but you gotta admit that not all are there for honest reasons), learning about a few that are there even though it was proved that they did not commit the crime and so forth. It's really not that bad of a site to visit.

But I am going to have to find a site similar to this one that addresses women in jail. Because I like to balance things out.
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irritating noises

I'm not a fan of the repetitive noise like pen clicks or back-up beepers on trucks. And it's this back-up beeper that I've been hearing for at least 30 min now and I'm ready to throw something at the driver. Most of the time I can ignore such noises as getting into my work helps drown that all away, but for some reason I seem to be tuning in too much to the irritating city noises this afternoon.

On some days there are the ambulance/fire truck/squad car drivers who, I swear, are playing with their sirens. Instead of a continuous whooohooooo sound (you know how the siren works I'm sure), it's whooop, whoop, whoooop, whp, whp. It gets really irritating especially when you are crossing the street in front of them not realizing your kid is waving to them and they let out a squeal. Right there. Where you jump into the clouds. Because those damned sirens are loud.

So yeah. I love retreating to my soundless sanctuary every evening. It's just the numerous mating frogs, insects, whipporwill and me (not to mention the occasional opossum, raccoon, owl, bat, etc, and moths don't make any noises that I can hear).
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Campaign for America's Future

They have compiled a list of state representatives and their stance on Tom DeLay. It's been interesting since about 20 Rep's have gone on record stating that they back DeLay while all the rest won't take a stand because they can't vouch for his character. Hell, even my rep follows the latter group and she's usually right up there with the other wacked out repub's.

Then, click here to find out what others are saying about DeLay.

I like this one the best I think:
"Tom's conduct is hurting the Republican Party, is hurting this Republican majority and it is hurting any Republican who is up for re-election, He is an absolute embarrassment to me and to the Republican Party."
Rep. Chris Shays (R-CT) CQ Weekly, 4/18/05

and then there is this one:
"If the ethics process is dominated by the majority party -- whichever party that might be -- it will have no credibility. It will almost certainly degenerate into a tool of partisan warfare and become a farce."
Rep. Joel Hefley (R-CO) & Rep. Alan Mollohan (D-WV) Washington Post, 4/13/05

He is being called to the stand, yet declines to comment. He won't step down from his position on the ethics committee. Does he really want to go out like that? Does he really want to be remembered as the corrupt Representative that was? Does he really think that much of himself even with all the evidence now stacked against him? He had to audacity to let his people fall, but what about him? Is this going to be another Enron/Worldcom/Tyco thing?

I betcha if DeLay had been a woman, she would have already been prosecuted. Whadaya think? Just look at Martha Stewart and her measly earnings, yet the corporate bigwigs of Enron stole entire company funds, retirement accounts: Everything. It took them two years to even get to court.
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Ghosts of Rwanda

From hilzoy, a post about a great man who helped Rwanda on his own.

If you haven't seen Ghosts of Rwanda or Hotel Rwanda yet, I highly recommend that you do.

Then go read up on what is happening in Darfur and start raising hell for the silence of the U.S. - again.
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Do you speak english?

Your Linguistic Profile:

75% General American English

20% Yankee

5% Dixie

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

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Justice Scalia

Speaking at Washington and Lee University today, he said the fault line in judicial philosophy is not between liberals and conservatives -- but between people like him, who decide constitutionality according to the prevailing thought while the Constitution was written, and others who believe the document should be adapted to the times.

He's a dangerous man. Who gets to legislate from the bench. Agh.
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Karen Brauer

Now she is making the papers because 1 Senator and 1 Representative are presenting a bill that would require all pharamcies to fill prescriptions for birth control and emergency contraception. This wouldn't hold individual pharmacists responsible, just the pharmacies they work for.

I think this is a reasonable compromise as do the 2 lawmakers leading the discussion of the bill, which is why they are introducing it I assume.

What I don't get, is the correlation that Brauer comes up with:

Brauer said in a telephone interview that she believes the country is on a path that will eventually lead to doctors ordering women to abort disabled children, or refuse to treat them once born. "They'll force women to kill their children ... It will be like China. It's the next logical step," she said.

Apparantely, she is unaware that the "crisis" already exists. Most women do not know within the 120 hour window that they are carrying a child with a disability. I do know (because I seem to be thinking realistically here) that it takes a month (an approximation) to study the genes of an embryo and by then, EC is no longer affective. So her next illogical step has been logically disproven. The whole point of EC is to stop the implantation of a fertilized egg. Once the implantation process has occured, women have to seek a medically induced abortion. Duh.

Let's not forget the ever-increasing cuts of Medicaid and Social Security so, in a way, we are refusing to care for them once they are born. In Virginia, insurance companies are allowed to stop paying after a certain point and then a waiver has to be filled out and the process goes on forever. There are waiting lists a mile long for children to get into special schools, homes, for the Medicaid Waivers and so on.

Why isn't she picking on the fact that genetics screening provides parents with the coding of their embryo's DNA which can also be used to used to make decisions such as aborting girls? Abortion isn't the culprit, technology is. How a pharmacist fits into that equation, I'm not at all sure of.

George Will published an editorial yesterday and while I don't usually read his stuff because he just aggravates me, he did make some good points.

What I do think is one certain pharmacist needs to know her facts before pretending to be something she is not. You know, like a Dr. or something.
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Anti-Abortion Manifesto

It appears that Eric Rudolph has issued an anti-abortion manifesto.

In an 11-page manifesto handed out by his attorneys, Rudolph said the Olympic bombing was an attempt to embarrass the United States in front of the world for allowing abortion.

and in true contradictory passion:

"Because I believe that abortion is murder, I also believe that force is justified ... in an attempt to stop it," Rudolph wrote.

How was bombing the Olympics supposed to embarrass the U.S.? I was horrified; feelings of embarrassment were the last thing on my mind. Not even 9/11 managed to embarass the U.S. as we seem perfectly capable of doing that ourselves, but in other countries. Or with our "democratic" policies and the need to spread them all over the world. Perhaps if he was trying to embarrass the U.S. as a divided entity this may have worked, but how was anyone supposed to associate the bombing to his issues with abortion? The two have nothing in common with each other.

From CourtTV.com:

Emily Lyons, who lost an eye — and nearly her life — in the Birmingham clinic attack, wept and said she was almost physically ill as she watched in court from her front-row seat.

"He just sounded so proud of it. That's what really hurt," she said.

Yeah, because apparently he believes one life for another is justifiable if it stops the "holocaust" we currently refer to as abortion.
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Forked Tongue Awards

I love the idea of giving these to hypcritical Senators. Most importantly, we need to award not only those of the Senate who take money from corporations that profit from porn while denouncing it on the floor during committee meetings, but those who are caught taking part in the purchasing of any porn items such as dildo's, vibrator's, cock rings, movies, etc.

Another thought: How about we start having a PI follow them around 24/7 to make sure they are going home to their wives in the evenings, eh? Then we can really start talking about the "Sanctity of Marriage."
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Peanutisms

This kid anunciates every syllable of a word, no kidding.

Violet is Vi-O-Let

William is Willi-am

Rotweiller is Rot-we-iller

He even corrects me. Sometimes I'll be goofing around and say 'libary' instead of 'library' and he'll say, "Mom, it's library."

Saturday and Sunday he played outside for most of the day with his G.I. Joe's. He even had strategic manuevers for them all. I can't sit outside with him because he interrupts my reading with, "Mom, you know what this guy does?" or "Mom, did you see that?" or "Mom, watch this" every 5 minutes. Trying to watch a movie with this kid is not fun because he talks the entire time about what they are doing, about what they are doing and what it will lead to, etc. I have learned to tune him out, especially when it's a movie he's seen 100 times, like Spirit (which is a really good movie btw).

Today I found out that he thinks war is a reality instead of just a sometimes thing. This is the very reason why G.I. Joe and it's whole message irritates me, but we can only blame the ex-asshole for starting that trend.

Yesterday, while pulling into Target to get a Hummingbird Feeder he said, "Mom, after we get the Hummingbird Feeder, we are going to look for a toy for me."

I said, "Uh, we'll see."

He said, "I know, I know. It depends on how good I am and if I ask you one more time, you're not going to get me one."

Laughing, I agreed and then commenced to argue with him about why I was not going to get a cart just for a Hummingbird Feeder and that he would get over it. He followed me through the store going, "My feet hurt mom,." "You're mean because you are making me walk," and so on. After we got to where the feeders were, he forgot all about his sore feet.

And after procurring a regular bird feeder and the hummingbird feeder, not to mention a 16lb bag of bird seed, I was really missing that cart.
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Andrea Dworkin

I knew that she had died, but couldn't find anything in the press about it. Leave it to the Sydney Morning Herald, though, to report on it.
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Food Meme

Provided by BitchPhD who coopted it from Jo(e). I was thinking of posting in Dr.B's comment section then thought, why take up all that room when I have my own blog? So here it is:

Favorite food to crunch: apples/carrots
Favorite comfort food: I don't eat when stressed but do tend to eat a large chocolate chip cookie in some cases.
Food that makes the best noise: I'm not really sure since most of the food I eat doesn't make a noise, though the sizzle of home fries comes to mind bc we made them last night
Favorite picnic lunch: ummm, tuna with dill and apples, a baguette, plenty of sunshine and a simple drink of water does it for me especially if I'm on a beach or in a large grassy field (with warm weather of course).
Favorite food scene in movie: If I have to go with a movie, I'd pick the birthday scene in Chocolat and from a book, Like Water for Chocolate (I have not seen the movie bc the book was too good).
Favorite food lyrics: hmm, not too sure bc none come to mind right now....
Least favorite food lyrics: Peanut! Peanut Butter (and jelly, jelly)
Best food smell memory: the smells of food along the boardwalk in Virginia Beach, there isn't anything like it
Favorite summer snack: Canteloupe. There was one summer where on my way back from Nags Head, NC, a fruit stand had the largest one I had ever seen and it was de.li.cious. This was about 5 or 6 years ago and I haven't seen any like it since.
Food that reminds me of the ocean: I love the ocean so much that my mom remarked last night that she could not imagine me landlocked...so this is hard for me to imagine though smelling seafood cooking while I am outside on a sunny day can do the trick.
Favorite winter snack: any kind of tea with scones or short bread.
Most likely to eat for lunch: bagel sandwhich or something from the hospital cafeteria.
Least likely to eat for lunch: nothing (as in I have to eat bc my blood suger gets too low).
Makes me gag: clams/oysters.
Food tradition I hate: every New Year's and Easter day we have a "New England broiled dinner." It consists of a huge pot filled with carrots, potatoes, cabbage and ham cooked all together simultaneously.
Saturday night food: it's all the same no matter what day of the week - Jr. Mints!!
Favorite wild foods: strawberries, peaches, canteloupe, asparagus.
Favorite food for sex play: Jr. Mints!!
Favorite medicinal food: I have to go along with the other women on this one: cranberry juice.
Food that reflects my heritage: I come from English/German ancestors so it's a mixture, however, I don't eat any of the meat stuff so that leaves pretty much most of it out though there is this dish my mom grew up with and passed it on to us called "American Chop Suey" which is ground meat (I use turkey), spaghettio's and mashed potatoes. Try it, I promise that you will LOVE it (and it's very kid friendly though I have to remind Peanut of this almost everytime).
Food most like me: I have no idea.
Favorite raw food smell: dill and rosemary.
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My presentation

It's done. Well, I'm done with putting it together anyway, tomorrow afternoon at 3:30 I present my topic to my class. Thank goodness we all like the subject or it'd be kinda pointless.

So anyway, I'm going to talk about Alice Walker's essay "In Search of our Mothers' Gardens" along with similarities between Toni Morrison's Sula and Virginia Woolf's Mrs Dalloway and Doris Lessing who calls Woolf "A Snob in Woolf's Clothing." It's all great stuff and I've learned to appreciate Virginia Woolf so much more depsite her off-the-mark portrayal in The Hours. I've decided to make my final paper on "Virginia Woolf Revised" which ends up being a contination of this presentation since there is soo much to say!!

I'm going to be sad when this class ends!
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nothing much to say...

except, WTF:

DeLay, R-Texas, suggested an impeachment case could made against judges who rebuffed Congress' will in the Terri Schiavo case. Congress ordered the federal courts to review the decisions of state judges who turned down her parents' efforts to keep her alive, but federal judges all the way up to the Supreme Court held up those decisions. "The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior," DeLay said when Schiavo died.

Could someone please get him out of the Senate already?
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WooHOOOO!

Yesterday, according to Population Connection, our nations Sentors voted 52-46 in favor of ending the Global Gag Rule. This was an admendment sponsored by none other than Senator's Barbara Boxer of CA, Patty Murray of WA and Olympia Snowe of ME.

This is what the email I received said:

Yesterday, the U.S. Senate adopted, 52 to 46, to lift the Global Gag Rule that President Bush imposed early in his first term.

This policy restricts free speech, interferes in the doctor-patient relationship, and threatens access to family planning overseas. The gag rule makes organizations choose between providing a critical service or participating in their own country's political system. Such a rule threatens both reproductive health care and the development of democracy in poor countries everywhere.

Tuesday's vote to overturn the gag rule came as an amendment sponsored by Sens. Barbara Boxer (D-CA), Patty Murray (D-WA), and Olympia Snowe (R-ME) during debate on a State Department funding bill. Chief sponsor of the amendment Sen. Boxer said the restrictions deny health centers overseas the right to use their own money to provide health care options for women.

"It is very important to make sure that women around the world are given the health care they deserve," Boxer said.

"The Bush administration has imposed a political ideology on the world. We cannot allow this undemocratic policy to deny women and their children health care and ultimately sentence them to die," said Murray on the Senate floor.

Sen. Murray said unwanted pregnancies are having a devastating effect in poor countries.

"It doesn't get much attention, but in the developing world complications from pregnancy is one of the leading causes of death for women ... That is more than one woman dying every minute of every day," Murray said on the Senate floor.

After the vote, Snowe said, "The Global Gag Rule infringes on a woman's right to personal, private medical care. This is a question of making sensible medical care available to women."

To see how your Senators voted, visit: Population Connection Reports

We strongly urge you to take a few minutes to contact your Senators about this important vote. Please thank those members who voted "Yes" and express your disappointment with members who voted "No." You can reach your senator(s) by calling them via the U.S. Capitol Switchboard at: (202) 224-3121.

To the right, once you click on the link to Population Connection, you can click again to see how your Senator(s) voted (or check out the link within the email and it will take you there straightaway). I had one who voted Yea and one who voted Nay, which is kind of interesting but I'm happy the yea's still won.
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The newest missunderestimation of Bush

I just saw this in the NYT's a little bit ago and, well, can our President be any stupider? Or what's another non-word to use in this case....miseducated maybe irregardless of the obvious facts that have been presented to him?

Shall we start the rant "Impeach Bush" now?
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Kofi Annan

He's the Secretary-General of the United Nations and has choosen to revitalize the UN by bringing it back to it's center; he wants the UN to get back to its original agenda of providing peace throughout the world and get the politics out.

This ideology has put him in the Center of the Storm and he is now the center of controversy as he is suggesting that the UN create a new human rights commission to deal with the relatively modern aspects of violence that are happening in Darfur, Afghanistan and the war in Iraq (among many others). He states that politics have become too large a part of the UN original intentions, including the commissions that exist currently to represent current human rights interests.

I really admire this man and respect him. He is sticking his neck out telling the UN council what they should be doing and admonishing them for not doing it. I think that he has proven his dedication to the rights of all humans and acts accordingly.

When the speculations of scandal broke the news, I remember thinking, "Not him, too," and sighed. Then I wondered if he was being picked on because he has been so vocal in calling for change; one such example is his desire to hold UN members more accountable for their actions. We've seen this "picking" tactic happen more than once in the past5 years since a certain administration has become the Imperial Leader (Darth Vadar anyone?).

I will have to admit that I wasn't surprised that the Food-for-Oil Programme had a corrupt leader. Does it show how cynical I have become? Not sure but it does seem that whenever the US is involved in organization such as this one, we screw it up with our greed and ego. (Tonight on Discovery watch "Does Europe Hate us?")

But Kofi was cleared of any wrong-doing by the UN commission in charge of investigating him and his son, though he was admonished for not thinking critically enough to realize that this situation might have been a conflict of interest. We all make mistakes, including Secretary-Generals of the UN. It's just that some are bigger than others. Sometimes we choose not to use our crystal ball's and therefore can't tell what is coming at us in the future.

Also, TomPaine.com has a great article which supports my theory of Kofi getting charged with the scandal he did as a way to inform him that he is being watched. Closely.
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MoveOn.org supports Repulican Senator Robert C. Byrd

I saw the link to this article on yahoo.com and kinda thought it funny in that sarcastic kinda way. Morbid humor I think it is. Or maybe it's black comedy.

MoveOn is generally nonpartisan even though they got started in order to speak out against Clinton's impeachment (I still don't understand how a President who got a blow job and lied about it in court had impeachment charges brought against him, yet we currently have a President who lied about a war - among other things - and it's been proven through numerous "committee's" since). They are like Emily's List in that they support the best candidate for the job, not necessarily 1 party over the other (though mostly Democratic and Emily's List supports only women).

I really liked this comment:
"'This organization is not a mainstream organization,' said Brian Nick, communications director for the National Republican Senatorial Committee."

So they are opposed to it because it isn't "mainstream?" How does one break into the "mainstream" without first being on the fringes hoping to get themselves noticed by those already *in*? Everyone started out as not in the "mainstream" at some point.

Then there was this comment that made me laugh out loud:
"Republicans charged that the response showed Byrd was too liberal for his state."

WTF? So all of a sudden, because Byrd accepts money from a primarily Democratic, out-of-the-mainstream group and he's too liberal? Yeah. And that's why so many of us liberals think the Repubs are losing it. This, coupled with DeLay's tantrums, proves it.
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An update

So the whole mediator thing went relatively well considering my ex started out by bringing stuff up that is done, gone and dead....stuff we had already discussed and come to an agreement on.

Plus, I wanted to ask him if he could stop saying "you know what I mean" after every other word.

And "adult" is now "adulf". WTF?

Sure he's filipino, but come on now. He couldn't form a complete sentence and stumbled over his words a lot. I guess that can be attributed to his "head in the sand" style of existence, yes?

But at least we came to a consensus: he gets Peanut every other 2 weeks in the summer. Once the trust issue was settled (he thought I meant that he was going to allow harm to Peanut when I meant I want to see him at least attempting to parent) and he found out that custody arrangements can always be ammended, he was game for my proposed 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off idea. And who knows, it might work better for the both of us.
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Feeling guilty

I've been neglecting my blog. I said that I would write a piece for feministe on managing my time and such. I feel unqualified to write about that now since I feel as if I'm not managing my time well at all.

I belong to this organization on campus called Vox: Voices for Planned Parenthood and we have our first ever Sextravaganza happening tomorrow night so I've been doing a lot of planning for that, especially these past few days since it's happening tomorrow night.

So I've been neglecting my blog.

I am also going to be seeing a court-appointed mediator tomorrow morning at 9am (an appointment which could last up to 4 hours the letter stated) with my ex-husband who tonight, informed me that he was "entitled" to extra time with his son after all the work he has done, has paid his child support on time ($200/month due on the 1st), stepped up and taken responsibility like a real man, yadda yadda yadda. I told him that I didn't trust him so I was still weary of letting Peanut stay with him for longer than a week.

He said that trust wasn't the issue.

Oh contrar, trust is the issue.

Then we got back on that entitlement bit and he stated that I was one of those people who like to complain....then I cut him off bc he was bringing the argument into the personal realm. What is entirely ironic during this whole conversation is his complete bigotry and contradicting attitude: do as I say, not as I do. He despises my "judgements" of him, but yet feels that he is entitled to do the same to me. It just makes me want to scream real loud in his ear and see if that gets his attention.

So this is why we're going to see a mediator though at first he thought it was all about him. Not surprising really; he is just a tad vapid.

On another topic, Peanut was his usual 5-year old articulate self tonight:

Me: Can I put your hair up in a ponytail for school tomorrow?
Peanut: Sure.
Me: You know, you're gonna have to get used to me pulling at your hair if it's gonna be long....
Peanut: Nope, I don't want long hair anymore.
Me: Okay....
Peanut: My dad was gonna get me a haircut because it was cheap, $6, but I really wanted to go to the party so we didn't.
Me: Well, your dad isn't allowed to be in charge of that anyway bc somehow your hair comes back looking really bad.
Peanut: I want my hair like my dads.
Me: His hair is longer than yours.
Peanut: But he gets his hair cut. (with a look of righteous idignation like, How come you didn't know that mom?)

My ex does get his hair cut, but only to the point between his shoulder blades, but it has to grow to his butt before that. Ah well. I like Peanut with his hair long so I'm going to hold him off that decision for as long as I can. Now I've been working on getting his ears pierced.

At least he didn't balk when I told him I had ordered a pink and purple shirt through LLBean today (thanks to Orange for that hint).

Oh, I also have 2 research papers due somewhere at the end of this month and 2 more due 2 weeks later. Wanna know how much "research" I've done for them? lol.

P.S. Flea has a post on "mommy drive-bys" spurned from a comment/post at Chez Miscarriage that's all really good. Check it out. I'm going to try again Wednesday to finish reading the whole thing and maybe post my own experiences here bc I happen to live with 2(!) other women who are related to me and love "helping" me along, too.
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Chix and their Cars

When driving around Short Pump last summer, I had come out of a store to see a bright pink Honda Civic in the parking lot with www.notmyboyfriendscar.com on the back window. I eventually drove myself home and forgot about it for a few days until my sister and I were talking about what we wanted to do to our cars eventually. Then I told her what I saw and we checked out the website. There wasn't anything then, but there sure is now.

I'm a chic who loves her cars. My fucked-up Ford sucks right now, but it was only $950 when my Honda Accord station wagon began leaking oil from all seals in the engine, meaning it needed an overhaul badly. Being as a new engine costs upwards of $1000 (and that's a *steal*), and if you do it yourself you could be without a car for a few weeks, I opted for the cheap and readily available 1994 Ford Taurus.

And then I remembered why I swore off Ford's forever after having a 1988 Ford Mustang (in 1996). They suck ass.

The suspension is loose, the DPFE sensor goes bad constantly, I have a gas line that runs (unprotected) underneath my car, which is a highly vulnerable spot, so when I didn't see a large chunk of tire laying in the road from an 18-wheeler, it punctured said line and leaked gas (it was dark, my headlights suck and I was in a shadow with no other cars). Fun stuff I know. Sure the parts are easier to find and cheaper to buy, but what I'm trading this for is worse gas mileage and a car that rides like a hoopty when it's supposed to be a sedan.

I also recently replaced a broken spring and since I was naive in just how broken it was, it killed my struts in back. Struts are needed to keep your car from bouncing gloriously along whenever you hit a bump; if you're still bouncing up and down way after the bump, you need new struts.

There are plastic pieces in my car that play a large role in my suspension system. This scares me a little.

The engine and transmission are on top of each other which requires the engine to have 3 engine mounts and these break a lot, too. It took us 2 hours just to get everything out of the way to get one engine mount. Honda's are side-by-side with no engine mounts required. This also makes it easier to replace the main crank seal yourself.

Ford has been around for a very long time and still their cars have problems with them that should be simple to fix.

So I drool over cars that look like this, this, this, and this.

I joke that my car is going to be so custom when I am actually able to buy it, I'll have to wait for 3 months or longer to get it back from the factory. And this time, I will stick to my promise to never buy a Ford again. (Even the Honda engine is beautiful to look at as opposed to Ford's.)
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Bold Prescriptions

This is a great article that also encompasses the arguments made in the WashPo from Monday. Go, read it now and discuss at will!

Note: this article states everything that we have been discussing over at various blogs such as Dr.B's place.
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