Something to Get off my Chest

Weeks ago I read the series from The Sexist on groping. They talked about why men grope, women's reactions to being groped and so on. They did a thorough job covering a topic where men seem to think they have indeterminable rights to a woman's body, that our bodies are without boundaries, seen or unseen.

I have been dating a guy-type ( J*) for almost a year now. J* likes to pretend the world is a happy place and nothing bad happens. He also has a daughter who is going to be 10 very soon. I've often mentioned he should talk to her about the birds and the bees, but most importantly, enforce the notion that her body belongs to her and no one else.

As J* and I started getting serious, and my conscious self began to comprehend I could one day be partially responsible for his daughter's well-being, all the times I have been touched by strange boys/men began to resurface. Call it PTSD or whatever diagnosis you want, realizing her life experiences with the opposite have a 50/50 chance of being similar to mine brought on a sense of urgency.

Because J* is male and hasn't had the pleasure of experiencing intense vulnerability with a dose of feeling out of control over his own body, he doesn't understand why I push him to talk to his daughter about her body. I could do it, and I've offered, yet ultimately it would mean so much more coming from him as he represents the gender who might very well become the offender.

So I started sharing stories of my experiences with him.

I told him of the time I was about 11 or 12 years old and playing in this large area of dirt and trails (eventually condo's were built and the dirt was taken away). This area was only a few blocks from my house. On that particular day, me, my sister and our friend rode our bikes so we could travel faster and get the rush from going up and down the "hills". At some point we stopped and 3 boys joined us for whatever reason. We chatted, they bragged, then one of them got off his bike and walked around our group, grabbing my ass in the process. He and his friends chuckled, his friends high-fiving him when he returned to his original spot. What happened next I'm not sure, because all I remember is feeling very afraid. I got on my bike and hauled ass home, the boy who grabbed my ass hot on my tail. As my house came into view, I remember feeling relief when I saw my dad was outside. I rode into my driveway and the young pervert rode off to find his friends. To this day I wonder what would have happened if he caught up to me or if my dad hadn't been outside.

Unfortunately, my experiences with groping didn't stop there. Throughout my life beginning at that point I've been poked, prodded, picked on, touched, felt up and then some all because boys' (and eventually men) have believed they have that right to my body. It hasn't happened nearly as much these past handful of years, but it still happens.

Another story I shared with J* was when I was in the 7th grade. We were allowed to hang outside for 30min or so after lunch and since we are kids, many of us partook of this luxury. One of the boys who apparently had taken a liking to me, decided to graze my not-quite-formed breast as he walked passed. I believe it was when he threatened to do it again that I took off running, hiding behind trees and eventually near a group of teachers, hoping that would stop him. It did. I did not move from that spot until it was time to go back inside.

I've tried expressing in words the intense loss of control, and huge vulnerability, having a stranger or friend grope you presents. I think it's much more damaging to one's psyche when someone you know does it because you live in fear that it could happen again.

A few weeks ago, me, J* and the kids were leaving the roller skating rink. J* had my keys in his pocket and I kept asking for them as I wanted them in my hands before we got to the car. He couldn't understand my urgency which is understandable because I realized I was freaking out due to the vulnerability I felt for not having my keys in my hands ready to unlock the doors once I got to the car. Because for a woman, this hesitation could get her raped and even killed.

And then I realized I hate that I have to at-risk myself for a dude's inability to control urges to which I did not contribute.

Yet I still cannot seem to impress upon J* that girls grow up experiencing life in a completely different way because, very simply, we have vagina's. His daughter has a personality that makes her more susceptible to this type of thing happening as she is more introverted and keeps a lot to herself.

So I worry. And worry. And worry some more.

Then today I sat in on a MDT (Multiple Disciplinary Team) meeting where 6 cases were discussed, all of them girls who had been sexually molested or assaulted by their mothers' SO's, 5 of them under the age of 7.

So I worry. And worry. And worry some more.

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What's that Palin lady about, anyway?

While I was impressed by Sarah Palin's speech last night at the Republican Convention, as she did carry herself well, spoke articulately and even managed to relay to her peeps she has not forgotten her meager beginnings, she won't entice me to vote for the McCain/Palin ticket.

Not even a little bit.

And here are a few reasons why:

I honestly don’t care that her 17 year old unmarried daughter is pregnant because it demonstrates this situation can happen to anyone no matter their moral values. It also helps prove abstinence-only programs don’t work, another Republican stronghold thrown back in their faces.

She’s even more pro-life than McCain and I do not want to see women die trying to abort their own fetuses. It’s a horribly painful way to die, hemorrhaging until you bleed to death. It is not something I wish on any woman no matter how she got into the predicament. Abortion is an issue Obama’s campaign has now decided to bring to the forefront.

Jumping on the “American Values” band wagon, she was real quick to point out her son, Track, had signed up to “serve our country” and was about to be deployed to Iraq. I do not subscribe to the idea our women and men are defending our country since it has already been proven and stated many times in myriad ways that we are now an occupying force. If anything the soldiers are defending their own lives and that of their mates from angry residents of said countries because they don’t like being told their way is wrong and being forced into our version of a flawed democracy.

Then, a little too flashy for my taste, she touted her youngest son who has Down’s Syndrome, almost as if she should be heralded as a martyr for not only having a child at age 43. But look, he’s got Downs and she is a Vice Presidential nominee. I’m going to be keeping an eye on this particular aspect to further determine her motive. He is certainly adorable though as is her whole family.

And she’s from Alaska. Where the Republicans (and some Democrats) desperately want to drill for more oil. Enough said.

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What still fascinates me is that McCain, and thus the Republican Party, nominated a woman for Vice President, something the large good ‘ol boy base usually steers clear of. ‘Cause you know, we women might get cranky while menstruating or going through “the change” and push the Big Red Button (pun very much intended). Never mind the fact several male presidents have already done just that.

None of these are new arguments, I know, but I’m getting really tired of them circulating endlessly. Isn’t it time to come up with something new?

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The Assassination of Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto

Horrible news.

She was shot in the neck and back by an assassin who then blew himself up. Coward.

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Vick sentence too light?

For those of you questioning whether or not Michael Vick, who is currently suspended from the Atlanta Falcons indefinitely and the large paycheck that goes w/it, got a tough sentence yesterday for "just killing some dogs," let me remind you of one important fact:

Animal abuse has been linked to the abuse of humans for almost the same.exact.reasons.

I think he didn't get a harsh enough sentence, but then again, anyone found guilty of animal neglect and/or abuse is hardly given a tough enough punishment in my opinion.

If a person is willing to maim, torture or kill any type of animal, who or what is to stop them from doing the same to a human regardless of age, ability or gender?

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A brief history lesson

Just 10min ago my co-worker asked me who Elizabeth Cady Stanton was.

Seriously.

And she's a 24yr old white woman who has graduated high school and had a brief stint in college.

Seriously.

Then I mentioned my other co-worker, who is an African American/Black woman, didn't get the right to vote until 1964 (the full and non-exclusive right mind you) and she had such women as Ida B. Wells to be thankful for.

WTF is our public school system and colleges not teaching these young women?

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What year is it again?

Congress has finally decided protecting the rights of Indian women is a good 21st Century action to show solidarity with the 1st Nation people's since we are in it's 400th year of creation (well, it's really Virginia but you know what I mean). Now Indian women get to be made a little more visible and hopefully their voice will begin to be heard throughout the U.S. so all you people who think the 400th anniversary of Jamestown should be "celebrated" can get a clue.

The measure follows an April report by London-based Amnesty International on high rates of sexual crimes committed against Native women, with a large portion committed by non-Native men. An Indian woman is at least two and a half times more likely than other U.S. women to be raped.

Think about it for a minute: 1 white woman is thought to be raped every 7min or so and Indian women are thought to be raped 2.5 times that. Wow. It makes me wonder if those mostly white guys who are committing this atrocity are under the same impression Thomas Jefferson was, you know, where he told his fellow white men to have plenty of procreative sex with their negro women because they will have children, those children will have children, etc., and eventually everyone will be white in the world. Nice eh?

Aye. It's great fun being a woman in a world full of men who think they are entitled to me and/or my body simply because I'm a woman.

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Impressions

Just checking in to say I've been impressed with Hillary Clinton as of late. She's starting to really shape herself into a formidable opponent and she kicked ass on the debates last week. She's also taking hard stands on issues she played the middle woman to not that long ago which is equally impressive to me.

And I've always loved her health care plans and strong drive to get us to a place where more adults and children are covered than not.

So I thought it interesting when I found this Guardian story asking where the "Rodham" went. I believe the answer to be very simple given the past presidential races where wives kept their maiden names, i.e. Theresa Heinz Kerry and Dr. Judith Steinberg Dean.

The integrity and loyalty to their husbands came into question simply because they chose to use their father's name in conjunction with their husbands'. Does it really matter since they reflect patriarchal lineage and have nothing to do with the women themselves?

Isn't it irritating how petty society can be when it comes to women, but men seem to consistently get a free ride?


**Note: I just remembered Theresa Heinz Kerry kept her husbands name, not her father's, but the argument still applies as she chose to use both, not just Kerry.

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The Double Standard Strikes Again

Sure this was decided late last month and there have been numerous lawsuits regarding the mandatory coverage of contraceptive devices by health insurance companies, it's still baffling how the powers that be come up with asinine excuses as to how and why it's not discriminatory to cover Viagra and Rogaine for men, but deny coverage of birth control for women stating

According to the two judges, the employees’ contraceptive use was not a condition "related to" pregnancy because the use of contraceptives "is only indicated prior to pregnancy" and "prevents pregnancy from even occurring."

Yet the Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA) of Title IX states

The PDA provides that women may not be treated differently than men simply because of pregnancy or medical conditions "related to" pregnancy.

So how is the ability to get pregnant not directly related to the issue of pregnancy?

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Rapped in Contradiction

I would love to know how someone can come up with a song like this:

[Verse 1 - Ludacris] Now little lisa is only 9 years old
Shes tryin to figure out why the world is so cold
Why shes all all alone and they never met her family
Mamas always gone and she never met her daddy
Part of her is missin and nobody will listenin
Mama is on drugs gettin high up in the kitchen
Bringin home men at different hours of the night
Startin with laughs--usually endin in a fight
Sneak into her room while her mamas knocked out
Tryin to have his way and little lisa says 'ouch'
She tries to resist but then all he does is beat her
Tries to tell her mom but her mama don't believe her
Lisa is stuck up in the world on her own
Forced to think that hell is a place called home
Nothin else to do but some get some clothes and pack
She says shes bout to run away and never come back.

The song includes vignettes of 3 girls aged 9, 10 and 11 and the emotions that go along with sexual abuse, a sexual relationship started too early and so forth. It's an example of what hip hop could be yet, on the very same album, there are songs such as Money Maker:

[Verse 1: Yung Joc] she'll shake her money maker 'cause its da boy Yung Joc just like like dat clock on da wall her body go tick tock its on in da bedroom u already know dat she be shakin' lafft taffy white boy dat ain't no fat its goin' down in da club its gettin' kinna heated just like knock it homey she told me to beat it Yung Joc is on da mike and you already know da girl chasin' me cause she know i got dough she ain't chasin' you cause yo pockets on low i step up in da club im like what des girls hittin' fo' i like my girls thick i don't like em' skinny its goin' down homey boy its New Joc City

and Girls Gone Wild:

[Verse 1:] Never scared to be different, the year ?possible? put into existance. Fa in stance, this is me. What did you expect from the 5th LP? Gone for a minute now I'm back again. Back to back, back to break backs again, put'em in the back seat of the 'lac again, and rip off the Magnam packagin'. What's happenin I'm looking for some girls gone wild.(gone wild)I'm just tryin to make these girls all smile(all smile). And I'm gonna make'em dance, so I could see them shake they ass, then I put'em in a trance, till I get'em out they pants. Then I'll take'em to a level they might've never been before, We gon hit the door. And then hit the floor, you'll get hit below. I got somebody I want you to get ta know. ME. Feel this like Jack the Ripper, hip hop needs help so I'm back to flip her. Flip her on her back cause I'm back to stick her and throw up on the track like it's full of liquor. [Hook:] You fellin kinda warm, like you was havin (sex) You wetter than a storm like you was takin (X) Your mood intensifies, it's time for a surprise, so baby close your eyes, get ready for what's(next)

Does he not understand how contradictory his message is? I think Luda is talented and I love his voice, but hip hop on the whole has gotten too bootylicious and demeaning toward African American/Black women especially. There is increasingly more evidence proving sexualized commercials and pop culture is becoming harmful to girls and only helps create and sustain the problem instead of fixing it, much less "empowering" them as advocates are purported to claim. Compounding the ideal is how African American/Black women are hypersexualized in rap and hip hop videos, not to mention the songs themselves, thus creating a certain expectation in African American/Black men that is most unrealistic. Having this mythologized woman in their heads creates problems in building healthy relationships and could possibly be why the leading cause of death for African American/Black women is homicide.

In fact, it was interesting that I had been mulling this topic over, thinking it would make for an excellent post when I noticed the March issue of Ebony; they had a feature titled "Sex, Violence and Disrespect: What Hip Hop has done to our Women."

Granted I am not an African American/Black woman, but I like to think I can empathize because the bootylicious factor in hip hop spills over to all women. Yet it is important to remember whose image is at stake here and I do understand its not that of a White woman; it is young African American/Black women who are portrayed as "ghetto ho's" and "bitches" in the videos.

Having said the above, why is it we jump all over the Imus' of the world, but don't hold rappers and/or hip hop artists such as Nelly (who has a song called "Tipdrill" with the hook, "it must be your ass 'cause it ain't your face"), Snoop Dog (can we say Girls Gone Wild?) and Jay-Z accountable for spewing the same sexist racist bullshit everyday over the airwaves? They condone the same denigration of women the rest of the world participates in by repeating and participating in the same stereotypes.

I believe only when we stop using the words in our everyday language that help to keep oppression alive will we truly achieve a non-racist/sexist/homophobic/ethnocentric world. What do you think?

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Pieces of Conversation Part I

Here's a bit of typical objectification for you to peruse and gawk. First, let me set the scene for you.

It's 9pm and we're just sitting down to dinner. I had put together a small table-top grill, started it and put together turkeyburgers for myself, along with french fries and a sprite of course. He arrived just as dinner was ready and since I had enough, I offered him some, too.

We finish dinner and commence to watching House. At 11, after both he and I dozed a few times, he stretched and this is where it got nasty.

G: You fed me dinner, so what's for dessert?

Me: Sleep.

G: But I'm horny.

Me: So?

Then there is silence as I'm sure he contemplated what I just said, effectively turning him down and taking control over my body at the same time.

It was about 10min later he excused himself, leaving with nary a goodbye kiss, which was okay considering I was fuming at his lack of respect. The funny thing is, when he got home, he text messaged me with, "I made it home safely, thanks for the concern!" Is that not passive aggressive snarkiness or what? I replied with, "Are you more upset with the fact I wasn't willing to play the part of human blow up doll?"

And of course I was right because the next day he called my argument petty, told me I needed to grow up, that I was always thinking someone was going to fuck me over or that I'm always trying to prove a point and then added if I truly knew how he felt about me, I'd have known he didn't mean any disrespect by that comment. Never mind the fact I explained to him the objectification process 2 times already and how I corrected him when he used the term "sexing" in the same sentence when discussing our relationship just a few weeks prior.

So, he is effectively out of my life and I'm on to doing the solo thing again, which seems to be working out much better for me anyway.

As a co-worker said yesterday, "Yes, I'm always petty when it comes to the objectification of my body."

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It's nice to see they're taking it seriously

4 Iraq soldiers were charged with raping a 50-year old Sunni woman after she wouldn't tell them what she didn't know.

This report comes just days after a 20-year old woman brought allegations on 3 other Iraq soldiers for the same thing. That case, however, was quickly dismissed by the Prime Minister of Iraq, Nouri al-Maliki, as "fabricating the allegation to undermine support for the security forces during the ongoing Baghdad crackdown."

Nice huh?

Of course no one appreciated that decision, especially the fact it was made in less than a day's time, with no investigation into the matter. The US, being the good Samaritans we are, has launched our own investigation into the matter. I think we need to make sure our own soldiers stop raping Sunni and Shiite women before we can tell anyone else not to.

For those of you who don't know, rape is a big deal in the conservative Muslim culture, often bringing shame onto women and their family because they (the women) either had sex outside of or before marriage, despite it not being the woman's fault. Often, a male family member will kill the woman in order to defend his family's honor and rid the village of her sin. Never mind she didn't rape herself nor tempt the man who did. (For heaven's sake, they wear a burqa's and/or hijab’s, which cover them completely. What temptation is left to blame a woman for?)
It's hellish being a woman in a country that doesn't respect you and thinks you're "just a woman" so anything can happen to you without regard for your personal safety or well-being.

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Molly Ivins, 1944 - 2007

Her brash truth telling, raise hell ways will be greatly missed.

Syndicated political columnist Molly Ivins died of breast cancer Wednesday evening at her home in Austin. She was 62 years old, and had much, much more to give this world. She remained cheerful despite Texas politics. She emphasized the more hilarious aspects of both state and national government, and consequently never had to write fiction. She said, "Good thing we've still got politics -- finest form of free entertainment ever invented."

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Oh lookey hea Ms. Scahlett,

the irreverent Delegate Marshall is lookin' to set Virginia on the path to illegalize abortion once again.

Abortion illegal upon overturning of Roe v. Wade. Provides that if and when the United States Supreme Court decision in Roe v. Wade, 410 U.S. 113 (1973) is overturned, allowing the states to by their laws once again regulate abortion, the law in the Commonwealth of Virginia rendering abortion a crime, as it was in effect on June 30, 1970, and prior to the decision in Roe v. Wade, shall be reinstated. The Attorney General shall publish legal notice statewide that, in his opinion, the decision is overturned and that Virginia's law is as it was prior to the decision in Roe v. Wade. The Attorney General shall publish statewide notice of the change in law, along with the reinstated law governing the criminal offense of abortion.

Notice it says "if and when" Roe v. Wade is overturned.

But he hasn't gotten one of his asinine anti-choice bills passed yet. Let's hope this year will be like all the rest.

(Okay, okay, so I did a little searching and I kinda have to agree with this one. I guess this falls under the category of "political irony" since, in this bill, he's asking that a woman be free from duress while trying to make the decision yet, hmmm, didn't he just propose to make it illegal all the way around once Roe v. Wade is overturned? Which would then make this bill null and void since he took away the very sin a boyfriend/husband could push the woman into doing. *sigh* You gotta love the inconsistencies.)

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Female Circumcision deemed Un-Islamic

I don't know about you, but I think this is fantastic news and tremendous progress.

CAIRO, Egypt: A conference of Muslim scholars from around the world declared female circumcision to be contrary to Islam and an attack on women, and called Thursday for those who practice it to be punished.

For those of you who are knew to the idea of "female circumcision," it involves cutting off a young woman's clitoris. Not making it less penis like, but fully detaching it from the surrounding genital area on a young woman.

But it doesn't always stop there. There are some villages who believe in sewing up a young woman's vagina entirely, leaving a small hole for urine to pass through. This often results in infections, not to mention intense pain. The only time a young woman is allowed to be "unsewn" is on her wedding night and then she typically has to endure the pain from her new husband who is the only one allowed to rip the skin back in order for his penis to enter her very sore vagina. Hardly do the woman undergo another "operation" to bring the skin back in a less painful manner.

There are long lasting effects from this "operation", one of them being life long pain and infections are common and come frequently.

The Muslim scholars said female circumcision was an aggression against women and should be stopped.

The scholars stressed that Islam forbid people from inflicting harm on others, explaining that those who circumcise their daughters were doing exactly that.

Because of the above, I am estactic with this decision and the urgance of countries to enforce their laws which forbid female genital mutilation. As they said, Islam gives no justification for it but does say individuals should not bring harm on another person and, of course, having a group of men performing these operations on women and demanding it be done is indeed inflicting harm on an entire group of people: women.
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Guess where I was Saturday?

At the Investiture ceremony for now Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori and it was a fantastic experience indeed. She is the first woman to ever be elected to such a position in the 400years+ Anglicans have been around.

I spent the night at my parents house as I knew my mom and I would be leaving at 7am, meeting our assistant priest and another priest friend at the church in Fredericksburg, then driving to DC from there, which was about an hours drive. We reached the Cathedral at about 9:15 then stood in line (it was 25degrees outside) until they opened the doors at 10am. Then 3500 of us flocked inside to get a good seat and that would have been accomplished on our part had other people not been so tall and had there been plasma TV's on the wings as well as the length of the church.

While we sat and waiting for the ceremony to begin, an African Gospel Choir sang to us and wow was the music excellent and celebratory. It definitely got the place jumpin'. They stayed in the choral section for the entirety of the service as they got to be the choir for the church that day which I was extremely happy to learn and have as a part of the experience (Episcopal music, on the whole, can be rather dry and sedentary).

At 11am sharp the ceremony began with Native American drummers and smudgers, acolytes waving large streamers and a procession of Bishops in all their regalia. It gave me goose bumps, chills and a variety of other emotions that I wasn't expecting.

Her tenure is 10years and who knows, a woman being elected this time around might have been only the beginning of great changes and I'm so glad I got to be a part of this great history making event.

Below are some articles/links about Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori and the varying opinions held about this momentous occasion:

Some images from the service.

An excerpt from her sermon.

Pat Robertson knocked off his rocker. Again.

Washington Post titles their article, "Leading an embattled church."

The Free-Lance Star titles the same article, "First woman leader of Episcopal Church a risk-taker."

The LA Times, always the one for liberal news and general acceptance, has a different spin, "First woman takes helm of Episcopal Church."

From CNN an interesting article yet they felt the need to put "She's for ordination of gays, but won't impose view" and "Some conservative dioceses have rejected her" as section headings.

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Quotes R Us

I just found a file on my hard drive titled, "Quotes." What was in it? A single Word doc with a whopping 4 quotes on it, 2 of them most excellent and fitting if I do say so myself.

"I will choose what enters me, what becomes flesh of my flesh. Without choice, no politics, no ethics lives. I am not your cornfield, not your uranium mine, not your calf for fattening, not your cow for milking. You may not use me as your factory. Priests and legislators do not hold shares in my womb or my mind. If I give it to you, I want it back. My life is a non-negotiable demand." -- Marge Piercy

"I would have said yes to abortion if only it was right. I mean, yeah it's right. Well no it's not right that's why I said no to it."-- Future president George W. Bush, February 14, 2000

The Bush quote, notice, is from 2000. He was stupid then and is still stupid now, as has been proven over and over again. (Am I allowed to call the President stupid?)
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Busy, busy, busy, busy

That's what I've been. Plus, I've been enjoying some really good books lately (check them out in my sidebar under Currently Reading), learning to knit a sock (which will eventually become 2), starting a colorful wrap for Peanut and pretty much trying to relax as much as possible since grad school starts in just 2 weeks.

However, I love it when simple citizens think the new "Don't transport your teen girls across state lines because that would then give them personal autonomy and lord knows how we can't have young women choosing what to do with their own body" law isn't "sacrificing girls lives."

Here, read the entire Letter to the Editor yourself:

Consent Law Does Not 'Sacrifice Girls' Lives'Editor, Times-Dispatch: I believe when Senator Hillary Clinton remarked, "We're going to sacrifice a lot of girls' lives," she was mistaken -- or at least confused about the Child Custody Protection Act.

The bill, introduced last year by Senator John Ensign, would make it illegal to take a minor across state lines for an abortion to bypass state parental consent and notification laws. One poll found 82 percent of adults surveyed in 2005 disagree with Ms. Clinton that this bill would harm or "sacrifice girls' lives."

I don't think any parents with a young girl would want their daughter to be taken away from them for any sort of medical procedure -- let alone one as invasive and life-changing as an abortion.

Ms. Clinton has talked about her own experiences with minor girls who were the victims of rape and incest, but who "tragically" could not be taken across state lines for an abortion because of parental notification requirements.

Ensign pointed out that it was these parental notification requirements that got authorities involved so that the girls could be taken out of abusive situations.

The ability to circumvent parental consent and notification not only takes away parental rights, but it covers up instances of sexual abuse and statutory rape so that not even Ms. Clinton can help the victim. Jennifer Pierotti. richmond.

Pay close attention to that last paragraph as you won't want to miss the finger pointing. 'Cause I'm seriously wondering how allowing a young woman to be transported over state lines in order to have a safe abortion takes away parental rights and/or covers up instances of sexual abuse and statutory rape. Don't these very same issues get covered up now? What if it's dad or uncle who get the 12yr old girl pregnant yet he's the one who also takes her to the clinic? There are no investigations into 12yr olds getting pregnant, at least none that I know of.

Watch "The Spitfire Grill" people. It may just be a movie, but the shit is happening somewhere.
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Haditha was no accident

I'm sure many of you skeptics aren't as surprised as the others out there who believe in the goodness of our military and the soldiers who sustain it are.

So, Haditha makes what, 4 incidents now where our soldiers have been complete assholes and proven exactly why a testosterone infested environment does not necessarily produce positive results?

And get this, one of the soldiers under investigation is suing Rep. John Murtha for faslely accusing the men in question and defamation of character. Geesh.

Lawyers for Staff Sgt. Frank D. Wuterich, one of the Marines under investigation, argue in a lawsuit to be filed Wednesday in federal court that Murtha falsely accused Wuterich of murder and war crimes. The suit maintains that Pentagon officials “who have briefed or leaked information to Mr. Murtha deliberately provided him with inaccurate and false information” and that the congressman subsequently “has made repeated statements .... that are defamatory” to Wuterich and his fellow Marines.

I'm ready to kick them all out and start over myself that way real sexual harassment training can take place and perhaps, with starting anew, women would be able to function as equals.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I'm dreamin' too much.
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What to donate when you have something to give away

Since beginning to volunteer for both a women's shelter and an animal rescue, I've come to the realization that a lot of people donate without ever thinking that perhaps the recipient organization may need something other than what you're willing to give. Sure money is good, but real tangible items are sometimes desired oddly enough.

Take for instance the women's shelter. The women who come to live there often appeared with only what they could carry with them at the time. Sometimes there is time to pack more, especially when she has 4 kids, but even then it's only what is absolutely necessary. This means, when they leave, often into Section 8 or government subsidized housing, they will need household items to make them feel more at home.

This is where giving money to the actual organization only serves to help the women and their children while they are living in the shelter, but does nothing for them individually. If you were to donate, say, dishes, salt and pepper shakers, towels, lamps, etc., you could help get them started into living a life on their own without their abusers. This kind of giving goes a long way but do keep in mind space and/or storage issues.

Couches are always a nice thing to have, but you may have an organization in your area that takes such things as these, tables and the like in order to give them to those who need it most for free. We have one here but I haven't found it yet unfortunately.

Also, I belong to an online community called Freecycle where I can often find stuff for free to bring to the women at the shelter. Every once in a while I get some really good clothes or household items for the women and/or their children. (Recently, I asked for a Snugli and got 3.)

Do keep in mind that donations, such as your time, are needed year round, not just at Christmas or when the tax season is about to end. When I discussed volunteerism with the woman in charge of it at the shelter, she expressed this need greatly. She also added that, at Christmas, she actually had to start turning people away.

Another thought is to spend a few hours a week in the shelter or even a few hours a month. You could also come in and cook a house dinner; they love that kind of thing. Hell, even if you bring in a bunch of pizzas you would be warmly welcomed.

This advice can apply to just about anywhere with humans such as the homeless shelters in your city. We have three here but I'm already spreading myself pretty thin, ;). Sometimes there is an AIDS/HIV support program that could use a set of hands a few hours a week or month. You never know 'til you ask, right?

As for SPCA's, animal rescues and animal shelters, it's quite simple. They prefer monetary donations or sometimes you can specifically sponsor an animal. This is because vet care gets to be expensive and they'll save any dog worth saving. Trust me, having to cut off a limb or remove an eye doesn't stop them.

What they also need is volunteers to walk the dogs, sit and play with the cats, help to clean out kennels and cat boxes, etc. Doesn't sitting in a room with a bunch of kitties, allowing them to interact socially with humans (which is a plus as it increases their chances of getting adopted), sound like fun! And seriously, if you're as big a dog lover as Peanut and I, walking the dogs and playing with them is great therapy, too. There are days when I just go to the Dog House and sit amongst the kitties or doggies, the latter licking or hugging me for at least 10 minutes.

There is also a great need for transport, such as what Peanut and I did on Thursday. Cheap spay/neuter programs aren't always close by so Peanut and I transport the huskies to Richmond and back home again since we commute to Richmond daily from where the huskies actually live.

Animal rescues need the most help, I think, because they are generally run solely by volunteers to begin with. A lot of time and effort (and sometimes money) goes into taking care of a bunch of dogs at a time so that they can definitely find forever homes instead of only having a 3-6 week window.

For those of you with children, ask and your kids might be able to come along, too. The only exception might if your state has an age-specific law. Here in Virginia, it's a law that volunteer's have to be over 14. (Peanut mostly jumps on the trampoline or holds a Cat Voting School when we're hanging out with the animals.)

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These are just suggestions and a way to move forward. There is so much out there that needs to be done so why not volunteer a little bit of your time to help shape the future, even if it's just a little bit? This can mean donating your blood and/or platelets to giving all your unwanted books to women and men in jail to participating in a Relay for Life or some other rally for a worthy cause (one that you deem worthy even).

P.S. I laughed when I wrote this because last summer, my now Non-Friend S. asked me when I was gonna do some activism that summer because she didn't think I was doing enough for women's reproductive choice. *sigh*

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