You Gotta Take the Hetero Out of It...Like This

Yesterday evening, 3 classmates and I presented to our class for an hour on GLBT families, more specifically, Gay Men Wanting to Become Dads and Gay Women Wanting to Become Moms. Each of our slides had various rainbows throughout, they were very colorful. We began our topic with the video below, I’ve Got You by Mélange Lavonne:

We touched on the roles within gay/lesbian families, which come with tremendous amounts of turmoil because currently our vocabulary is based off heterocentric language. What do we call two mom’s? Who is the mom who didn’t give birth? How do the dad’s refer to themselves? To each other? Are they step-father’s despite them being an original ‘contributor’ to the child’s conception? There are so many facets to sort through and because most research on parenting is done on heterosexual couples, it leaves homosexual couples floundering through uncharted territory. Though same-sex couples make up a very small segment of the overall U.S. population, that doesn’t mean they should be left out or their experiences should be lumped in with those of heterosexual parents. Some issues, like what to call themselves, are entirely unique to same-sex couples.

Such ineptness in our patriarchal-heavy language reminded me of Hélène Cixous who suggested we scrape away at the limitations and begin again, this time including women. She said women do not have the ability to adequately tell their story through the use of language primarily because it caters to the singular male, e.g. fellowship, man, woman, guys, etc. (Sexist language anyone?)

Seemingly innocuous to those unaware, the words we use in every day life, like ‘history’, are based from the male perspective, created at a time when women were not taught to read because we were thought of as the weaker sex (and men wanted to keep us that way). Perhaps most importantly, Cixous stated women have a distinct inability to claim our own sexuality because words do not exist that are not related to the male and that allow adequate expression. Simone de Beauvoir said very nearly the same thing in her book, The Second Sex.

But I digress.

At the end of our presentation, one of my classmates had trouble understanding the concept of defining roles in homosexual relationships; she was attempting to create a definition based on heteronormative behaviors and ideology. I was proud of my groupmates as well as another classmate sitting directly in front of the one who spoke because they answered, “It’s how they define themselves, not us.” As clinical social workers, it is not up to us to define anyone but instead to help them define themselves, if this makes any sense.

The classmate referenced the above video and asked that because Mélange referred to her significant other as “wife” in the video, she wondered if it meant Mélange was a husband.

Here is where I internally sighed and rolled my eyes.

Then she asked something in relation to lesbian moms and what defines them as “mom” when only one has given birth to the child. Keep in mind that during our presentation 2 of my groupmates went into great detail about this particular topic and how difficult it can be for women to navigate specifically because we don’t have the appropriate language.

This is where I interjected and said, “Two mom’s, two wives, two parents. That is very often how they are spoken of but not always so it’s not safe to say this is the norm.”

We went around and around for another 5min or so, my teacher (who is marrying her partner in May) getting involved as well.

Eventually I stopped the conversation because I had a hunch it was going to keep pestering my classmate despite what we said and quite succinctly stated, “You’ve got to take the hetero out of it. You cannot look at gay/lesbian families through a hetero lens. You’ve got to let all that go.”

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Something to Get off my Chest

Weeks ago I read the series from The Sexist on groping. They talked about why men grope, women's reactions to being groped and so on. They did a thorough job covering a topic where men seem to think they have indeterminable rights to a woman's body, that our bodies are without boundaries, seen or unseen.

I have been dating a guy-type ( J*) for almost a year now. J* likes to pretend the world is a happy place and nothing bad happens. He also has a daughter who is going to be 10 very soon. I've often mentioned he should talk to her about the birds and the bees, but most importantly, enforce the notion that her body belongs to her and no one else.

As J* and I started getting serious, and my conscious self began to comprehend I could one day be partially responsible for his daughter's well-being, all the times I have been touched by strange boys/men began to resurface. Call it PTSD or whatever diagnosis you want, realizing her life experiences with the opposite have a 50/50 chance of being similar to mine brought on a sense of urgency.

Because J* is male and hasn't had the pleasure of experiencing intense vulnerability with a dose of feeling out of control over his own body, he doesn't understand why I push him to talk to his daughter about her body. I could do it, and I've offered, yet ultimately it would mean so much more coming from him as he represents the gender who might very well become the offender.

So I started sharing stories of my experiences with him.

I told him of the time I was about 11 or 12 years old and playing in this large area of dirt and trails (eventually condo's were built and the dirt was taken away). This area was only a few blocks from my house. On that particular day, me, my sister and our friend rode our bikes so we could travel faster and get the rush from going up and down the "hills". At some point we stopped and 3 boys joined us for whatever reason. We chatted, they bragged, then one of them got off his bike and walked around our group, grabbing my ass in the process. He and his friends chuckled, his friends high-fiving him when he returned to his original spot. What happened next I'm not sure, because all I remember is feeling very afraid. I got on my bike and hauled ass home, the boy who grabbed my ass hot on my tail. As my house came into view, I remember feeling relief when I saw my dad was outside. I rode into my driveway and the young pervert rode off to find his friends. To this day I wonder what would have happened if he caught up to me or if my dad hadn't been outside.

Unfortunately, my experiences with groping didn't stop there. Throughout my life beginning at that point I've been poked, prodded, picked on, touched, felt up and then some all because boys' (and eventually men) have believed they have that right to my body. It hasn't happened nearly as much these past handful of years, but it still happens.

Another story I shared with J* was when I was in the 7th grade. We were allowed to hang outside for 30min or so after lunch and since we are kids, many of us partook of this luxury. One of the boys who apparently had taken a liking to me, decided to graze my not-quite-formed breast as he walked passed. I believe it was when he threatened to do it again that I took off running, hiding behind trees and eventually near a group of teachers, hoping that would stop him. It did. I did not move from that spot until it was time to go back inside.

I've tried expressing in words the intense loss of control, and huge vulnerability, having a stranger or friend grope you presents. I think it's much more damaging to one's psyche when someone you know does it because you live in fear that it could happen again.

A few weeks ago, me, J* and the kids were leaving the roller skating rink. J* had my keys in his pocket and I kept asking for them as I wanted them in my hands before we got to the car. He couldn't understand my urgency which is understandable because I realized I was freaking out due to the vulnerability I felt for not having my keys in my hands ready to unlock the doors once I got to the car. Because for a woman, this hesitation could get her raped and even killed.

And then I realized I hate that I have to at-risk myself for a dude's inability to control urges to which I did not contribute.

Yet I still cannot seem to impress upon J* that girls grow up experiencing life in a completely different way because, very simply, we have vagina's. His daughter has a personality that makes her more susceptible to this type of thing happening as she is more introverted and keeps a lot to herself.

So I worry. And worry. And worry some more.

Then today I sat in on a MDT (Multiple Disciplinary Team) meeting where 6 cases were discussed, all of them girls who had been sexually molested or assaulted by their mothers' SO's, 5 of them under the age of 7.

So I worry. And worry. And worry some more.

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What did I miss?

Since mid-December, we've gotten a total of 26" of snow. That's virtually unheard of around here. Thankfully we finally figured out the world doesn't have to come to an end every time it snows so life got to carry on as usual over the weekend. I don't have any pictures to share this time since, eh, it's old news now. We're supposed to get more wintry stuff tomorrow through Wednesday. Yay us.

But in the middle of all this snowmaggedon/snowpocolypse type weather, things like the Superbowl have been happening in warm sunny Miami.

Rep John Murtha died due to complications from his gall bladder surgery.

Lots of feminist-minded people have been taking down the sexist/misogynist/racist/homophobic ads that ran during the Superbowl. So I don't have to.

Steven Drozd of the Flaming Lips will be teaching a college class whilst in OK.

NY's Governor Paterson doesn't want to give up the fight.

Did you know Scott Fujita of the new Super Bowl champs is my kind of liberal, use my money for good kinda guy?

And Twitter is an absolutely fabulous way to obsessively wait for Glee episodes to begin in April. I need some happiness to keep me sane.

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A Whites-Only Basketball League?

Wow. Just wow. The fact that this "whites-only" league would be comprised of teams from 12 southern states makes me laugh in the ironic sense.

But wait, there's more:

'I don't hate anyone of color,' he told the Augusta Chronicle. 'But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here's a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.'

And that's as far as I got because I started laughing so hard at the idea of white people not being allowed to play basketball in the NBA because too many black people (and other nationalities) have taken over?

Then I decided to take another quick peak and found this gem:

Players would have to be 'natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race.'

Bigoted racist privileged white man that Don "Moose" Lewis is, I'm not going to change his mind. So I'll just avoid him and his ilk.
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When Domestic Violence is a Pre-Existing Condition

Again, this proves why we need health care reform

In 1994, then-Rep. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.), now a member of Senate leadership, had his staff survey 16 insurance companies. He found that eight would not write health, life or disability policies for women who have been abused. In 1995, the Boston Globe found that Nationwide, Allstate, State Farm, Aetna, Metropolitan Life, The Equitable Companies, First Colony Life, The Prudential and the Principal Financial Group had all either canceled or denied coverage to women who'd been beaten.

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District 9

Friday evening I treated myself to District 9 and was not disappointed. It had a viable plot and the CGI graphics helped me quickly forget I was watching something another human being made up. Peter Jackson has been making quite a name for himself and this movie did not disappoint. However, when discussing the movie the following day with the boy, he asked, "Can't you just watch a movie for its entertainment value?"

My response: "That movie was not made for pure entertainment purposes."

At least in my opinion.

**WARNING: Spoiler alert**

An alien ship, we learn, broke down just over Johannesburg, South Africa. Right away I thought it interesting that a ship carrying *other* beings would stop over one of the more historically racially/tribally divided countries in the world. Then I thought, "Whew, at least it wasn't the US."

For nearly 3 months the ship hovered of Johannesburg. One day it was decided the military would go up to check things out, cutting a hole in the ship. They found the aliens to be starving, malnourished and unable to take care of themselves, perhaps because they had not anticipated their ship breaking down.

In the good Samaritan sense, it was decided to evacuate the aliens from their ship and certain death, placing them an internment camp which eventually became a heavily militarized slum. Other Africans set up shop within the camp, exploiting the aliens, selling them meat and cat food at exorbitant prices. Piles of trash were found throughout the camps. There was no running water, electricity or insulation for their “homes”, which were made of aluminum and/or wood pieces.

The movie begins with an interview of a gentleman, Wikus, we later learn was put in charge of evicting the aliens from District 9 so they could be moved to a refugee camp called District 10. The team bribed the aliens with cat food or threatened them with military action if they didn’t sign the eviction notice.

Throughout the movie we see flashes of varying signage declaring particular services for humans only.

So far does this remind you of anything? Apartheid anyone? Or how about segregation and slavery in the U.S.? The list of repeats could go on.

When speaking to the boy, he stated the reason for the heavy military presence is because the aliens had become violent and combative. I asked if he, too, wouldn’t have become that way if he had been exploited, oppressed and discriminated against for the last 20 years. What if someone were to decide all white men needed to be evacuated and held in slums like those aliens, wouldn’t he begin to lose hope, become desperate or possibly even violently angry?

Then I went on to mention how it has been proven over and over again that projects do not work. That refugee camps do not work. That internment camps do not work.

Yet we seem destined to repeat our same mistakes in an almost cyclical fashion it’s almost predictable.

Ghettos breed hopelessness, desperation, shame, anger and even a learned helplessness. Out of these emotions comes violence, because when you look deep under the surface, oppression and exploitation can be found. Keeping the undesirables hidden away amongst themselves will not cure the problem.

Instead, accepting everyone equally will. Something District 9 did not show us very well I think.

At some point in the middle of the movie, Wikus, when fiddling with a weapon "Christopher" made, was sprayed with a black liquid that eventually turned him into an alien. We watched as Wikus was experimented on and with then, nearing his disintegration, almost killed for his parts.

Wikus has a chance to save him, Christopher and Christopher's son yet chose to be the selfish white guy he really was. But he couldn't operate the controls and got shot down by an anti-aircraft missile.

Blah blah blah Christopher gets caught, Wikus feels bad for his earlier transgression then aides in getting a beat down Christopher back to the large ship that was started by his son and moved in position over the smaller vessel. Christopher was beamed to safety as Wikus stayed below to hold off the soldiers, who eventually perished at the hands of the angry aliens.

The 1 million plus aliens were eventually moved to District 10, a refugee camp that was made of the smaller white tents we've all become accustomed to.

And the wait as another 20 years pass before someone decides to move them to another sort of camp began.

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Is this regret?

When I pulled up yahoo’s website this morning, I saw this tagline: Racist makes public apology. I clicked on the link mainly because I was curious, wondering what sort of apology a racist man could make. I will admit I am skeptical when someone begins repenting their sins, especially when you find out they’re dying. One has to wonder if they are truly sorry or do they think the only way they can get into heaven is to apologize. After reading the article, I’m convinced it is the latter for Mr. Elwin Hope Wilson.

Now 72 and ailing, his body swollen by diabetes, his eyes degenerating, Wilson is spending as many hours pondering his past as he is his mortality.

Sure most of the bad deeds he did were when he was younger, but they were filled with such venomous hate, how does one turn that off? He beat a young 21-year old black man because he got off the Freedom Rider’s bus and attempted to step foot in the White’s Only waiting room. Mr. Wilson was not provoked verbally or physically, yet he chose to allow his fist to meet with that young man’s face 45 years ago.

The former Ku Klux Klan supporter says he wants to atone for the cross burnings on Hollis Lake Road. He wants to apologize for hanging a black doll in a noose at the end of his drive, for flinging cantaloupes at black men walking down Main Street, for hurling a jack handle at the black kid jiggling the soda machine in his father's service station, for brutally beating a 21-year-old seminary student at the bus station in 1961.

I just don’t buy it. Not when you read things like the above paragraph and the one that follows:

"All I can say is that it has bothered me for years, all the bad stuff I've done," Wilson says, speaking slowly and deliberately. "And I found out there is no way I could be saved and get to heaven and still not like blacks."

This sounds a lot like someone trying to buy their way into heaven, doesn’t it? When you read further, his wife talks about how he became scared of the black ghost in the rocking chair, a result from a bad dream Mr. Wilson had. His son describes his dad as a hard man to live with as he would use the n-word in front of his friends, sneer at black people (families included) in public, and heckle them in restaurants. And this is when he was old enough to know better.
I just don’t buy it and this is why:

In the 1980s, when the local cemetery began burying blacks alongside whites, Wilson became so incensed he threatened to disinter the bodies of his parents. When a black family bought a house in the neighborhood around the same time, Wilson accosted the real estate agent and demanded that the sale be rescinded.
He yelled racial insults whenever his grandson, Christopher, whom he raised, talked on the phone to his black wrestling buddy. When a garden ornament — a stone statue of a black boy in straw hat — was vandalized in Wilson's front yard, he strung up a black doll with a noose around its neck, and threatened to use an AK-47 against a neighbor who complained.
As late as 1999, when his Baptist pastor began encouraging more black participation, Wilson got so upset he left the church.

You might think different, but someone who can hold onto so much hate even after he knows better, doesn’t seem to be all that sincere to me. It sounds like Mr. Wilson wants to make sure he gets into heaven and in order to, he’s doing what the church has been preaching all his life: repent, be saved and you shall be welcome in God’s land.

I do not want to go to the same heaven where people like him might be. Who knows what they carry with them, if all this hate follows them even in death?
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Every Day is Straight Day

Last Friday night, Peanut and my One Conservative Friend were eating dinner at River City Diner and overheard this conversation between a waiter and his customers (who he apparently knew). Keep in mind he was wearing a rainbow belt and seemed happy to be a young gay adult male:

Waiter: I just found out Kings Dominion has a Gay Day. I didn't even know they could do that, isn't it discrimination. Can they do that? I wonder if they have a Straight Day...

Customers: Huh, interesting. (pause) Every day is Straight Day.

Waiter: Silence as he most likely contemplates this news which shouldn't be a shock to him. Then agrees.

Then in my head I say, "Thank god they (customers) said that because I surely would have."

Which brings up an interesting point. This evening, a classmate gave a presentation on gay adolescents and depression. We learned that many internalize homophobia so it might take them a while to figure out they are gay and/or to act on those impulses. Sometimes this internalization follows them into early adulthood before they are able to "free" themselves from societies heterosexual constraints, especially when children are involved.

Naturally while discussing the topic tonight I thought of the young man and his ignorance to every day being straight day. After all, we live in a society where heterosexuality is affirmed via the right to get married and homosexuality is denied that same affirmation with the many bans that have arisen in recent years.

Gay couples were not seen in primetime television until Will & Grace came along. "Grey's Anatomy" and "Brothers & Sisters", both portraying lesbian and gay relationships respectively, have been passed the torch. These 2 shows portray homosexual relationships as being equal with those of their heterosexual counterparts, something I admire and am excited to watch for.

But it's still interesting how a young homosexual male didn't yet understand that every day is Straight Day. Seriously.

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this is old, but....

appalling nonetheless because I'm sure they aren't the only ones to have done this nor will they be the last.

Afrobella presents, "I Have no Words."

Maybe someone should remind him that black people aren't really black. *sigh*
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Overheard at Work

I'm going to start a new series titled Overheard at Work because some of the stuff heard here would crack you up, leave you appalled or gross you out. Heck, sometimes all 3 might happen.

2 of my co-workers were standing at the copier talking about a referral source who, according to them, isn't very nice. The part I will be repeating is only the section my brain began to listen in on.

CW 1: She isn't very nice! (whiney voice)

CW 2: Be nice to me massah. (southern twang added for emphasis)

CW 3: Seriously, she isn't nice at all.

And I stopped listening because I was too busy texting my co-blogger Charlie to see if he would have the same reaction I did. Yep.

Both co-workers are white and staunch republicans though CW 2 wouldn't be able to tell you why. Being a republican doesn't have much to do with the racist comment, I know, but the whiteness of their skin and lives does.

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Palin as martyr?

I'm glad Palin has 5 children as that's her choice. However, I don't like this "martyrdom" she and others have created for herself because she has a kid with Downs. Is it really admirable for a woman to choose to carry a child with a disability to full term? Or is it their own personal responsibility to do what is right for themselves, their family and their particular situation at the time the news is given?

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What I would really like to do....

is create a post on this falicious rumor that Obama's campaign is consistently throwing out the race care. Because he isn't, at least not in the purporseful manner McCain's campaign has been.

Obama is black. Actually, he's biracial if you want to get technical. But our society reminds him, his wife and their 2 kids everyday that they are black. So yeah, race comes up in his conversations quite a lot I'm sure, especially when confronting the inherent racism dripping from the McCain/Palin rallies as of late.

He makes us confront our privilege and the crackers out there who think he's throwing out the race card to get special treatment need to take a real good look at the Republican Party as a whole and get back to me.

Peace, I'm out.

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Noteable Reading III

The Choice brought to you by The New Yorker:

Never in living memory has an election been more critical than the one fast approaching—that’s the quadrennial cliché, as expected as the balloons and the bombast. And yet when has it ever felt so urgently true? When have so many Americans had so clear a sense that a Presidency has—at the levels of competence, vision, and integrity—undermined the country and its ideals?

(All 3 Noteable Reading's have been courtesy of the ladies over at Feministe)
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Noteable Reading II

The Class Warfare Before Palin

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Being Raised up Biracial

Monday, during recess, a schoolmate went up to Peanut and proceeded to call him a “white n*****”. Peanut and his friends immediately launched into the, “But I’m/He’s not white!” defense, to which I agree. Then I told Peanut that is when you tattle, to let the teachers be aware this phraseology and supposed insult is being used and hopefully a talk with the child’s parents will come out of it. After all, the kid didn’t pull it out of thin air; he had to hear it from somewhere.

Charlie was astounded when I said I wasn’t angry, which got me thinking, “Why am I not?”

Peanut is biracial: his dad is Filipino and I’m Caucasian, or Euro-American if you want to break it down that far. We live in a very urban neighborhood, far from being suburbia it is. We live in a city that has a prominent African American/Black population and in Peanut’s school, he is the only Filipino kid with the majority attending being African American/Black and maybe even biracial.

The kid who referred to Peanut as the racial epithet has probably never seen a Filipino person, much less been subjected to the influence of said culture via a 4th grader. Peanut’s hair is straight and a very deep chestnut with skin a shade of russet. (There are a ton of pictures in my flickr pool to the right.) So to him, Peanut is either white or black, there is no in between as no experiences have taught him otherwise.

Which brings up another issue entirely: How do we teach kids racism transcends all boundaries that once seemed solid but now are becoming fluid-like? With the increasing population of biracial children, how are they to learn who they are and, unfortunately, where they belong?

I did a quick goggle search using the term “raising biracial children”. I didn’t expect to be alone in this strife and was not disappointed.

As the mother of biracial children, I am well aware of racism in America and how subtle it’s become. Although we like to think of ourselves as evolved, there are still many among us whose actions reveal attitudes about those they consider different from themselves.

As I stated above, I am white. How do I prepare Peanut for a world of racism that I don’t experience daily but he will? Taken a bit further, how does the occasional white guy I date take this on as well? More importantly, how does me dating the occasional white guy affect Peanut when many strangers assume he was adopted and yes, at times talk to both of us with that assumption in mind (or does it matter since either way he is my son)?

When discussing the incident Monday afternoon, I informed Peanut that, regrettably, now is when he is going to start experiencing and being aware of the attitudes of those who think everyone belongs in a box with 4 sides and no way out. That our society places people into categories, whether we like it or not, and that eventually, someone is going to put him in a position where he will feel like he has to “choose sides”.

Before you can offer biracial children guidance, you must explore your own experiences of racism in America.

Oh how spot on this is. Your children are a mirror of your true self, reflecting your own idiosyncrasies, prejudices and quandaries. Just listen to them talk sometime, I mean really listen. I find often that Peanut repeats a lot of the same views I have and that’s obviously because he thinks I’m right and awesome enough to emulate. However, through his repetition, I have often realized just how flawed my way of thinking can really be, not to mention my desire he think for himself.

Being aware of who you are, why you are that way and of course taking on a heavy dose of self-responsibility, help you better see yourself in someone else’s eyes. Empathy is something definitely worth obtaining the rights to as well. Just a little bit of self-awareness can really go a long way; kids will show you the way whether you wanted to go there or not, but it’s up to you to pay attention.

For example, I was brought up to believe everyone was the same no matter what and they deserved to be treated as such. I don’t recall my parents ever saying a discriminatory word toward anyone though I do realize now my mom thought them on occasion. But no matter what your parents teach you, being in school around a diverse group in terms of thought and practice is something else entirely. I remember kids in high school, white kids for clarification purposes, stating black girls were to be feared because they were mean and angry (oh yes, this stereotype has existed for decades). My high school was predominately self-segregated. After hearing this belief repeated over and over yet having no direct contact with anyone other than my handful of white friends, I internalized this prejudice, fighting hard years later to rid myself of them.

This is what racism feels like. Someone exerts their power over you because they want to and because they can. You are judged for what, rather than who you are. The sense of injustice is overwhelming. Although sometimes the oppressor is someone who holds no true power in the world, it’s an experience that leaves the victim feeling dehumanized and shamed. Imagine feeling this way every day of your life.

Which makes me wonder where the kid got the phrase from and what place from inside him was it coming from. Being 8 years old, I doubt he’ll know, but kids are wondrous little people and can be talked through the process of discovery over time.

Then the question prompted is what does that mean anyway? Is this the “reverse racism” people erroneously purport exists in this day and age? Or was its use misunderstood? Perhaps the kid was joking around with Peanut, but something tells me he wasn’t.

Either way, racism is a power play and in the very depths of the individuals soul who is the racist, they are afraid. We crave power because it means we can be better than someone and in order to feel superior, someone needs to feel inferior whether honestly or ill-begotten.

But how to explain this rather large deeply rooted problem to a 9 year old?

Explain to biracial children that racism is based on fear and insecurity. Extremists and hatemongers are fearful bullies at heart. Hating others because they don’t share the same ideas or views gives birth to intolerance.

If there is one thing Peanut has had hammered into his head, it’s the fact that people are human beings first, and everything else secondary. We bleed the same; have all the same organs, facial structure and body parts. We are one until someone sets themselves apart.

And unfortunately, because he has the benefit of looking much more like his dad, Peanut will always face some sort of racism based solely on his skin color then again when they find out he has a white mom.

(I highly recommend reading the rest of the article quoted here and I added this book to my wish list.)

via

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Hey you, retard!

I’ve already made mention of this word and subject before, but in light of a recent movie being released into the wild soon enough, much is being made of this one tiny supposed innocuous word.

Let us begin with the origins and meaning of the word versus its current usage and new slang-like meaning shall we?

From the Online Etymology Dictionary:

1426, "fact or action of making slower in movement or time," from L. retardationem, from retardare "to make slow, delay, keep back, hinder," from re-, intensive prefix, + tardare "to slow" (see tardy). Retarded "mentally slow" first recorded 1895. Retard (v.) first recorded 1489, from O.Fr. retarder (13c.); offensive noun meaning "stupid person" (with accent on first syllable) is from 1960s slang.

The term, or “condition”, Mental Retardation, is used as a medical diagnosis for many state Medicaid and Medicare programs and encompasses one or several of the following: significantly lower intelligence than the average for individuals of the same age, delays in developing social skills, communication skills, and the ability to care for oneself and live independently. (via)

*************

The slang use of the word “retarded” is used heavily in most conversations especially among teenagers and the ill informed and inappropriately so.

Used then and now, the word is one that labels and in fact limits ones ability to judge properly the life experiences a person with an intellectual disability has had which can negate or even overshadow their slowness. Just because someone is delayed in processing and responding back in conversation in rapid fire succession does not mean they do not get what you are saying; they get it a little slower is all.

A derogatory word now in most friendly conversation, “retard” is often used to describe a *normal* person who is slow to pick up on something or acting in a defunct manner.

Meaning they are stupid and should be dealt with in a condescending manner because they are less than. Thus making them the *other*.

Who wants to be reminded they are stupid all the time, or treated like a child, especially when it’s someone making fun of you by joking someone else?

It’s the same concept behind referring to something as “gay” or “faggoty” isn’t it?

Sure it seems I’m being the Politically Correct Police. I get that a lot and honestly, I do not give a shit. I believe in treating everyone equally regardless of their mental status and/or capacity and of course their race, class, creed, gender and so on. And I wish everyone else did, too.

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BWAH!!!

My staunch republican of a co-worker thinks Stephen Colbert is a "comedian who's republican so he has a republican slant on things."

I LOVE IT!

Just thinking about her saying it sends me into fits of hysteria due to the intense irony of her declaration.

"...Colbert (playing the blowhard pundit)"

How can I not relish in this very simple display of my co-workers intense lack of intelligence?

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A brief history lesson

Just 10min ago my co-worker asked me who Elizabeth Cady Stanton was.

Seriously.

And she's a 24yr old white woman who has graduated high school and had a brief stint in college.

Seriously.

Then I mentioned my other co-worker, who is an African American/Black woman, didn't get the right to vote until 1964 (the full and non-exclusive right mind you) and she had such women as Ida B. Wells to be thankful for.

WTF is our public school system and colleges not teaching these young women?

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What year is it again?

Congress has finally decided protecting the rights of Indian women is a good 21st Century action to show solidarity with the 1st Nation people's since we are in it's 400th year of creation (well, it's really Virginia but you know what I mean). Now Indian women get to be made a little more visible and hopefully their voice will begin to be heard throughout the U.S. so all you people who think the 400th anniversary of Jamestown should be "celebrated" can get a clue.

The measure follows an April report by London-based Amnesty International on high rates of sexual crimes committed against Native women, with a large portion committed by non-Native men. An Indian woman is at least two and a half times more likely than other U.S. women to be raped.

Think about it for a minute: 1 white woman is thought to be raped every 7min or so and Indian women are thought to be raped 2.5 times that. Wow. It makes me wonder if those mostly white guys who are committing this atrocity are under the same impression Thomas Jefferson was, you know, where he told his fellow white men to have plenty of procreative sex with their negro women because they will have children, those children will have children, etc., and eventually everyone will be white in the world. Nice eh?

Aye. It's great fun being a woman in a world full of men who think they are entitled to me and/or my body simply because I'm a woman.

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Duh

A new study produced by the Sentencing Project in Washington, DC came out with the following results:

Blacks in the United States are imprisoned at more than five times the rate of whites, and Hispanics are locked up at nearly double the white rate, according to a study released Wednesday by a criminal justice policy group.

Now see why the title of this post is a very simple, "Duh"?

What I would like to know is why Native Americans, or 1st Nation peoples, aren't on this study. Oh that's right, because people think they exist only on reservations and spend their free time drinking. Whew, these stereotypes are just flyin' off the shelf today.
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