Rummaging

Today Bernie Mac died. He was only 50.

Then halfway across the world the Olympics are happening and Americans have so far kicked ass in fencing, swimming and maybe even men's gymnastics for at least the individual portion anyway.

Meanwhile I've been sitting back wondering how all this goes on and we somehow not remain ambivalent. Or maybe even patriotic? Two contradictions in terms I know, but so are the feelings those 2 stories bring up.

Our country has been quite the bully over the past few decades and this one has been no different. We've got thousands of soldiers in Iraq fighting for our supposed "freedom", Afghanistan is growing bolder with every passing hour and I sure hope Iran isn't stupid.

And let us not forget China, where, just weeks before the Olympics were to start, there was an uprising between them and Tibet.

Somehow, through all this, we're supposed to remain hopeful and optimistic, shunning words like jaded and bitter from our vocabulary, misanthropic even. Budding relationships bringing up new doubts but old worries.

I went on vacation a couple of weeks ago to a place cell phones don't work, tvs a commodity, not a necessity, newspapers have to be sought out....my first morning back in the "real world" was met with news of a man walking into a church and opening fire, killing 2 people I believe it was and injuring several more. That first half hour of the news was nothing but sadness, drawing out a depressive nature in most who watched I'm sure.

So is it any wonder when you meet someone new, who seems to be mostly spot on with all that you've been hoping for, you're a bit skeptical and need to wait for the smoke to clear to be sure it's not just an illusion?