you know the old cliche'

"Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned?" This is all me right now. It's also one thing you don't ever want to do to me: piss me the fuck off.

I don't mean angry, frustrated or irritated, I mean fully, totally and infuriatingly pissed off.

My friend S. recently asked me if I planned on doing any activism this summer. But she didn't ask me as a general inquiry or as part of her curious nature. She was being snarky because I turned down standing outside sweating like a pig (if they could) for 2 hours in the disgusting heat index of 100degrees just to get a few people to sign a petition at the Carytown Watermelon Festival.

Oh, did I mention that I'd have to drive 1 hour to get there first, then fight for a parking space for at least 20min?

Even after I told her that my asthma and extreme humidity don't go very well together, as in I could very well end up in the hospital due to an asthma attack, and that my lack of health insurance has required me to be way more careful with myself, she still insists I'm not doing enough and that all I do is talk, talk, talk with no action.

When she thought my name was on the list of volunteers for this festival, she emailed me to say that she was proud of me.

WTF kind of friend is this you ask?

A very bad one would be my response.

What kind of friend tells you that blogging, writing letters (not the ones you click and send though sometimes they are easier), volunteering at a husky rescue and the YWCA, going to school full-time, raising an almost 6 year old full-time and commuting appx 3 hours every single fucking day isn't enough "activism?" Oh, did I mention the work I do running her around on errands while I'm here in Richmond or during the semesters for the organization we belong to called VOX (the VCU chapter)?

Needless to say, she's not my friend anymore. Because this isn't the first time she's not seen what is in front of her very face.

The first incident is a relatively stupid one I think. We were both going through the volunteer training at the YWCA and I had Peanut for the 3rd week. What I ended up doing was driving him back home then heading back to Richmond for the session. (I live 45 north of Richmond so this required me to double my driving hours for those 2 days.) I was driving along then got to wondering if my friend S. would be expecting me to pick her up as I had the previous times but then thought she knew I was driving from home so was going to go straight to the meeting place.
But, good friend that I am, I decided to call her anyway just to make sure she knew I wasn't picking her up.

Nope, she had fully expected me to pick her up because, as she said during that conversation, it wasn't a problem the other times so she assumed I'd be doing it those last 2 days as well. She gave me a lot of grief about it actually and it irritated me. But I wasn't pissed off just yet.

So, I hung up irritated. I called her back maybe 10 min later to tell her to meet me in front of the library and to be ready because I wasn't waiting for her. She said okay so I thought things would work out.

While I was driving around trying to get to the library, she had called but I didn't hear my phone ring. Almost to her house, I just happened to look at my phone. Noticing she had called, I listened to my voicemail.

She had left a message telling me she had found a ride so don't worry about picking her up.

Now that pissed me the fuck off.

When someone calls you and says, "Ok, meet me here and I'll pick you up," and that person agrees, wouldn't you think they would no longer be looking for a ride?

Never has she apologized for that episode of miscommunication.

There was a 2nd incident that I can't remember the particulars of anymore. I think this latest one has blinded me to all else, lol. Maybe my Special Friend can remember since he's heard all this already. He even knows how to leave comments now, :).

My friend S. hasn't apologized for anything actually. Not the way she snarkily commented on my lack of "activism," not for finding a ride after I was already late, and not for whatever pissed me off after the 2nd incident.

I live by the 3 strikes rule and she's struck out.

What I have also noticed about my friend S., since I fight back, either she's not used to people fighting back or she just flat out doesn't like it.

She had put a Russell Pott's for Governor sign in her yard not too long ago but without asking her housemates (she had 4 others at the time). One of her housemates raised an objection, saying she found it offensive that S. didn't ask anyone else if it were okay to put the sign in the yard. I agreed with the housemate as I felt S. should have asked since it wasn't just her yard. She didn't like that too much, stating that she wanted the sign up to show her support for Potts and they'd just have to get over it.

I'm tired of being the voice in her ear reminding her that she has to take into consideration that people live their own lives how they feel they should live it. I'm tired of reminding her about empathy. And most of all, I'm tired of her forgetting about my job as Admin. Asst. and mom and that I commute while she has no kids, no bf's or husbands, no committments - not even a job - so she can volunteer as much as she wants. She lives less than 20 min from any "activist" oppourtunity. I don't.

And most importantly, I'm just tired of not being appreciated for what I've already done and/or contributed to this new movement. I'm only one person and I can do but so much.